Page 112 of The Second Kiss
“I kept that promise. Well, mostly. I didn’t always wear it. But,” I look down at the floor. “I always kept it with me.”
“Always?” His gaze is heavy on my face, but I can’t look up at him.
“Almost always. In my pocket.” I touch the pocket of my jeans. “Do you remember what else you gave me the day you moved?”
Now he’s looking down too. Looking down and rubbing the locket. “I’ve thought about that a lot, Jess. Why I did what I did. I just wanted you to feel better. It didn’t mean anything. I mean, I don’t want you to think—”
I put my hand over his hand, so now we’re both holding the locket. “It was perfect.”
“Perfect?” he looks up at me.
I nod. Now I’m caught in his brown-eyed gaze. “It was exactly what I needed. I needed to know someone cared. I needed to know I was okay."
He looks confused, but I know I have to keep going before I lose my nerve. “I went through a lot after you left. I was awkward and shy. I was fat. I had braces and glasses, and crazy hair and allthose things that give kids license to torment another kid. And they did. But no matter how bad it got, I had your locket, and I had the memory of your kiss. And if Jacob Ricks thought I was okay, then it didn’t matter what anyone else said.”
I sit back, lean my cheek against the window, and watch the raindrops sliding down the edge of the roof. “At the end of ninth grade, I joined the track team, and then I joined the swim team. And I ran and I swam and I killed myself until I looked good.”
“And it really sucked to be one of those guys who made fun of you.”
“Maybe.” I have to smile. “Things seemed perfect for a while. But after I had everything I thought was important—popularity, the body I wanted, and Brad,” I shake my head and look down. “I figured out none of it was worth the price I’d paid and it wasn't what I really wanted anyway.”
I can feel Jacob’s breath on the back of my neck, but I can’t face him. “And then you were back. This perfect, incredible guy that I built up in my mind all that time. Someone I had carried with me for years. But you were real.”
His voice is soft. “I’m sorry if I didn’t live up to what you expected me to be.”
I shake my head. “Actually, the problem was youwereeverything I thought you would be. You were sweet and gorgeous and perfect,” I take a breath, “And you still cared what happened to me. You fixed my car, you tried to protect me. You saved my life.” I turn around and face him. “And then you stood by me when everything was falling apart. I could never repay you for any of that.”
“You don’t have to repay me. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Bruised, but not broken,” I echo the doctor’s words, “Weaker, but at the same time tougher than I thought I was." I turn to face him. "I’m okay. I don’t need a locket or an imaginary boy to tell me that anymore. I guess that means I’ve finally grown up.”
He takes a breath like he wants to say something, but then he doesn't.
I look up, my eyes locked on his. “There's one more thing.”
Now or never.
I move closer. Stand on tiptoe. Tip my face towards his.
And kiss him.
On the lips, lightly and so fast that when it’s over, I can’t really be sure I actually did it. I look down at the floor and draw circles with my foot. “I had to do that now. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get another chance.”
My face burns. My heart pounds. Despite my big speech, my confidence is gone. I’m that awkward little girl again. I keep my eyes on the scarred floorboards, afraid to see his expression. Afraid of what he’s about to say.
He steps forward and takes my face in his hands. I meet his eyes, but only for a second.
He kisses me.
His second kiss is sweeter than any kiss I’ve ever felt before. He holds me for a long time, his lips moving against mine. Soft. Tender. So powerful it takes my breath away.
He pulls away, but leaves his hands on my face, his eyes filled with a softness I've never seen in them before. “And I did that because I’m really hoping for the chance to do it again.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. “I have a confession to make too. I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you teaching your kickboxing class.”
I pull away from him. “Really?”
“Didn’t you ever wonder why I was always around? Why I was so protective of you, especially when it came to other guys? Why I was at the club that night or why I came back to your house the night of your prom?”
I give him a teasing smile. “You were stalking me?”
