Page 113 of The Second Kiss
“Kind of.” He laces his fingers through mine. “I went to the club because Jasmine called me. She was worried about you, about you being with Brad.” He laughs. “Laini was so excited that I was finally taking her someplace fun, and well, you know how that turned out.”
“Jasmine called you?” I can hardly believe it. I thought it was a dumb coincidence that we ended up at the same place. “And after Prom?”
He shakes his head. “It's like I told the lawyer. I got into another fight with Laini. She kicked me out of her car on the side of the road. I thought about calling Gage to come get me, but I didn’t want to ruin your night. I could have called one of the guys from base to pick me up. Instead I started walking. I walked for an hour before I realized where I was going. I thought about turning around a hundred times. I’m so glad I didn’t.”
“You ended up at my house at exactly the right time,” I say.
He pulls me into his arms again. “Not soon enough. But if I hadn’t come that night...” He leans his forehead against mine, but doesn't finish that sentence.
“Thank you. For always being there for me.” I run my fingers over the scar above his eye. "Even when you didn’t know you were.” I pull back. “What about Laini? She called you that day, when we were at that trail, and Mom said she was coming with you today.”
He lets out a long breath. “Laini’s dad works in the Attorney General’s office. I thought he might be able to help us with the court case. I wanted to tell you that, but you didn’t give me a chance. You ran away.”
“I’m sorry. I should have let you explain.”
“Besides, in the lawyer’s office, you’d basically said under oath that I was nothing more to you than an old family friend, a brother. That there was nothing between us.” He steps back. “And then you left for school without saying goodbye, and Ithought that meant you were done with me for good. That you didn’t feel the same way I did. I tried to go back to Laini, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t feel anything for her. I never have. I told her that, and she laughed at me. She said, ‘it’s not like I was going to wait for you anyway.’” He hangs his head. “You were right about her, right about everything.”
He takes both of my hands. “I’ve been so stupid for so long. I was confused about what I wanted and what I felt. You were too young; you weren’t interested. I wasn’t good enough for you. That one’s still true. But I know what I want now. I only want you. I love you, Jess. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
They're the words I’ve wanted to hear for so long. I wrap my arms around him and pull him against my chest. “I love you too, Jacob. I’ve loved you since that day in the barn, even before that.”
“I didn’t know.” He shakes his head. “I guess we need to work on our communication skills.”
I lift my face and kiss him again, pull him tight against me, slide my fingers up under his shirt and along his back. Then, I lean back and trace his lips with my fingers. “How was that?”
“Much better. I like how you communicate.” He moves his lips inches from mine and whispers, “But I think we should still work on it.”
I lose track of how many kisses. I lose track of a lot of things. We stay in each other’s arms for a long time. Like we have forever. I can feel his breath on my neck. His chest against mine. The rain plinks against the metal roof overhead. The smell of his cologne mixes with the mustiness of the old loft. I close my eyes and commit everything to memory.
A new most precious memory.
It will have to last a long time.
fifty-seven
Something to Remember Me By
He pulls away and brushes the hair away from my face. “That wasn’t the only time I wanted to kiss you.”
“Hmm?” I’m still in a trance.
He strokes my cheek. “I wanted to kiss you after your class, on the way home.” He kisses me. “When we played paintball.” He moves to my cheek. “In the car on that long-deserted road.” He slides his nose along my cheek and then starts on my neck. “In the middle of the flour fight.” More kissing. “After your spin class. On your couch whenever your parents were gone. Whenthey were there too.” He finds my lips again. I force him to stop talking.
He pulls away and looks into my eyes. “Every time another guy touched you, it made me crazy. I’ve never wanted anything that Nate had until the night I saw him kiss you. Every time you were hurt, or scared, or sad, I wanted to take you in my arms, take away your pain. Protect you.”
He traces the scar under my chin, “And that night, when I found you in the barn, when I was almost too late, when I almost lost you—”
I don’t let him finish. I pull his lips to mine and kiss him, harder than before. More desperate. Trying to put a whole year’s worth of longing into one kiss. I put my hands on the back of his head and hold his face close to mine. I don’t want to let go.
When he pulls away, I’m out of breath. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart pounding.
His phone buzzes. He clasps his hand over it and then reads the text. “Bryan,” he explains. “He wants to know if I need a ride back to base. I was planning to leave my car here. Your dad said he would store it for me while I was gone.” He slips his arms around my waist. “What do you say?”
I lean in and kiss him on the cheek. “Tell him you have a ride.”
We sit outside the barracks in his car, holding hands and watching the rain fall for a long time. I’m torn. I want to go in with him. Stay with him and feel his arms around me as long as I can until he’s gone. Let him hold me while we sleep. He doesn’t ask.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “Are you going all the way back to school tonight?”
