Page 63 of When We Were Magic
“Then we’ll all be not-okay with you,” I tell her. Her mouth twitches into the briefest of smiles.
“It’s not fair when you use my own lines back at me,” she says. Then she takes in a gulp of air like she’s about to jump into a swimming pool, and she throws the liver onto the fire.
Nothing crazy happens. The fire doesn’t change color, and a chill wind doesn’t rustle through the trees. The liver sizzles and smokes, and a smell that’s uncomfortably reminiscent of barbecue fills the air. Handsome and Fritz both lift their noses to take in the aroma.
“Okay,” Marcelina says again. She takes her hair down and runs her fingers through it nervously.
“How do you feel?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” she says. “Fine, I think. Maybe it’s not done yet.”
She sits in the grass, leaning back on her hands and watching the fire. I sit next to her. Handsome and Fritz attempt to drape themselves across our laps, and there’s a brief moment of chaos as we simultaneously try to push the two wriggling dogs off us. “You’retoo big,” I tell them both, but they just wag their tails and pretend not to understand.
“So, you also told your dads that you’re …” She waves her hands vaguely. “Whatever? What did you tell them? Bisexual?”
“Um, kind of. I told them that I’m still figuring out where I land, and I guess bisexual is the closest thing to true?”
She nods. “You’ve never really said it out loud before. It’s okay if things change later, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s what they said. And they both also said that they already knew and they thought I knew they knew? So it wasn’t really a big deal, I guess.”
“It’s still a big deal, even if it wasn’t a big deal,” she says, scratching under Fritz’s collar.
“Pop said something weird,” I say as casually as I can. “I think he was just trying to be supportive or whatever, but he said that he thinks I should ask Roya out.” I catch Marcelina rolling her eyes. “What?”
“What?”
“Why are you rolling your eyes at that?”
She does it again. I use a little spark of magic to tell Fritzto lick her in retaliation, and she tries to shove him away, but he nails her right in the ear. She makes aneuuuaaaghhnoise. “Gross, Fritz, you have toad-breath.”
“Good boy, Fritz,” I say, rubbing the hard-to-reach spot under his ear.
Not to be outdone, Handsome tries to shove his nose into her other ear. “Call off your goons, Alexis!” she cries, shoving at the big shaggy dog.
I grab Handsome by the collar and he settles for shoving his nose intomyear, which isn’t my favorite sensation, but which isn’t nearly so bad as getting licked. “You don’t have toad-breath,” I whisper, even though he kind of does.
“Look, I just think that it’s sort of obvious that you should ask Roya out, isn’t it?” Marcelina grabs a long, forked stick and pushes the black lump of liver deeper into the fire. “We all thought you were going to ask her to prom, but—”
“She wanted to go with Tall Matt,” I say bitterly.
“Um, no,” she says. “Shewantedto go with you, but then you never asked her and Tall Matt did. They were there as friends.”
“She was just saying that because she’s afraid of commitment,” I snap. Marcelina gives me anoh hell no, how did you just try to talk to me?look and I grimace. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snipe.”
“Damn right you didn’t,” she mutters. “And you need to give Roya more credit than that. She wouldn’t lie about not being into Tall Matt. She likes him as a friend. Did you evensee them dancing at prom, or were you too busy getting groped by Josh? Who, I am delighted to remind you,youdon’t evenlike?”
“Didn’t,” I murmur. Her face softens.
“What were you doing with him, Lex?” She combs her fingers through Fritz’s fur. His eyes close in contentment and he does some tiny tail-wags that tap against my thigh. “I know everyone’s been asking you and you’re super grumpy about it, but … it just doesn’t make any sense.”
“Why not?” I purse my lips, trying not to get snappy with her again. “I’ve dated guys too. What, just because I’m”—vague hand waving—“whatever kind of queer I am, I can’t still hook up with dudes?”
“You’re full of shit,” Marcelina says mildly, still dragging her fingers through the long, coarse fur on Fritz’s head. “You know that’s not what I mean. And don’t try to play it like you’ve ever slept with a guy before. We both know that would have been your first time.” She shakes her head. “And it would have been withJosh Harper.”
She’s right. I am full of shit. I’m so full of shit that, even though I know the answer, I say, “Well whatdoyou mean, then? Because it sounds an awful lot like you’re trying to tell me who I’m allowed to sleep with.”
Marcelina gives me anotheroh you’re really going to try this crapglare. “What do I mean? What I mean is, it doesn’t make any sense because you’re clearly crazy about Roya. And you didn’t know the difference between Josh Harper and ShortMatt until you were dancing with Josh at prom. What Imeanis, it seems an “awful lot” like you were going to sleep with a guy you’ve barely exchanged two words with for no discernible reason.What I mean is, you’re usually pretty smart and you almost did something somonumentally stupidthat it made me wonder if you’d fallen and hit your head when I wasn’t looking.”
