Page 7 of Double Standards
I know there’s no point when it comes to Axel. Either way I’m a dead man, it’s just a matter of time before my mortality is decided. But the fact he is one of The Five means I need to keep my wits about me. I am treading in deep water, searching for trouble when I shouldn’t be. But I need to know, I need to manage my expectations before I walk into the lion’s den.
My eyes scan over and over through news articles, but there is nothing on the man. It’s like he’s a ghost, almost a figment of my imagination.I wish.Our interaction this evening was anything but that.
I stroke my finger over my bottom lip, the ghost of his touch still lingering—or maybe that's my sanity waning. My heart clenches tightly in my chest, and the realization of what I’m doing forces me to snap my hand away.
Sinking back into the worn cushions, I try to push all my thoughts of tonight out of my head, but it’s so damn hard when the same questions keep floating around.
Is this career suicide?
What if I say no?
There’s no answer to those questions that could possibly calm my nerves. My moral compass is all over the place, splitting in different directions. Every day I risk my career for a client, so why is this any different?
Cooper appears in the doorway, folding his arms across his chest as he leans against the doorframe, watching me intently.
“Wanna talk about it?” he steps forward to lean on the back of the couch.
“Not really,” I whisper back before turning around to give him my full attention. Tucking my knees up against my chest, I look up at him.
“Look, I know you want to help, it’s in your nature,” Cooper states with a sigh. “But it’s not safe.”
“I know,” I whisper.
Maybe it’s fear or common sense, but either way Cooper still doesn’t seem to get that I can’t say no. I’m already on The Five’s radar now and any attempt to hide from Axel will end disastrously.
“Coop?” I mumble.
“Hmm…”
“I tried to say no. I tried to walk away, but they didn’t give me a choice,” I begin to explain, but Cooper steps away from meall too quickly, shaking his head. The coldness of his actions makes me shiver and recoil.I haven’t even got to the part where Axel told me I belong to The Five. I don’t even know if I want to tell him that much.
“You always have a choice, Cass,” Cooper mutters under his breath. But before I can respond, he walks out of the room, leaving me hollow and lost.
I wish he was right, but he doesn’t get it. He didn’t see the look in Axel’s eyes, the dangerous glare of man who would do anything to save his ass. I shiver at the thought all over again, remembering how he looked tonight, how he looked atme.
For the briefest moment, there was a flicker of something other than obnoxious power. For a split second, I saw something I don’t think he wanted me to see;desperation.
The more I track back over tonight, the more I resign myself from sleep. Arguments do that to me, and so does my anxiety. I avert my attention back to the television, hoping the news will remove the dooming chill that settles on my shoulders like a cold blanket.
It doesn’t.Because the Mayor's murder iseverywhere.
And no matter where my thoughts take me, they always bring me back to Axel. It’s like he’s embedded himself under my skin. Something about him I can’t quite put my finger on is screaming out at me. His words repeat over and over, and I know I’m being foolish thinking he meant anything else, but the glint in his eye wasn’t just threatening, it was promising.
It’s four in the morning before I finally close my eyes. When I eventually wake up a few hours later, there’s a stiff ache in my neck from where I slept on the couch, and my wrists are showing slight bruises from Colombo’s brutishness last night. The whole situation puts me in an instant foul mood that I can’t even wash off with a shower.
I make every effort to avoid Cooper as I get ready for work. I need to clear up whatever is going on in my own head before trying to explain it to Cooper. I suspect that my hopes of Axelchanging his mind are just as idiotic as the idea of Cooper understanding, because no sooner have I stepped into the office building before my phone rings.
I falter, staring at my screen for far too long.
“Hello?” I answer, standing hesitantly on the stairway to the foyer.
“You’re requested,” a familiar doom and gloom voice replies.
I slump against the wall as I listen to the instructions that Colombo is dictating to me. Exhaustion has already taken a toll over my body, and my brain is malfunctioning. I rub my hand over my forehead tirelessly and drag my palm down my face, attempting to take in every detail that Colombo is explaining.
Axel is unhappy, apparently. He thought I’d get to work last night, trying to get his bail. But I can’t work with nothing and I sure as shit wasn’t working overtime.
“Maybe if he gave me something useful, I’d be able to help. He might be better off?—”
