Page 87 of Sparks
There were downfalls of being near him too, though. Like how I noticed pilot Heather admiring him when he wasn’t looking. I mean, who could blame the bitch, but still. I liked her. She’d been in the Navy, then gotten herself out of an abusive marriage. The way she held herself with confidence and independence at forty—I hoped like hell I would love myself that much in another sixteen years. But I didn’t want her getting cougar-y with Silas.
When we were all checking into the hotel that evening I overheard her ask Silas, “Want to grab a bite?”
My stomach flopped over like a dead, rotting fish and my hearing went Marvel character-sharp as I listened for his reply.
“Thanks, but I have plans.” He denied her. Wow.
“Of course,” she said. I glanced over to see her give him a polite smile and head toward the elevators.
After a pause, I walked casually toward him with my key card.
“What room?” he asked.
“202.” We headed to the elevator, went to my room, checked it out, and then stared at one another, the tension blooming just as it had in the cockpit. We could so easily do some tearing-off-of-clothes right now.
Silas cleared his throat. “Dinner? There’s a restaurant across the street.”
Surprise made me blink. These were his other “plans?” I nodded. “Okay.”
“Let’s change and I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.” I nodded again, because apparently I was too stupid to live or speak. He held his pilot’s hat and inclined his head good-bye.
This didn’t have to be weird. I mean, we had to eat, right? Things felt overly-proper between us after our date, which I’d been afraid of.
Down in the lobby we gave each other stiff greetings and walked together in silence across the road to the restaurant.
“I’m paying for myself, okay?” I said after we ordered. “No arguing, please. You bought me a cheesesteak.” I smiled but he gave me a bit of an annoyed grimace.
“If you insist.”
“I do.” I entwined my fingers in my lap. “How are things?”
“Tense, but fine. I’m learning more and more about what happened with Jacquie. One of the guys was actually a friend of mine so I called him to confront him.”
My eyes widened, trying to imagine it. “That sucks.”
“I asked, ‘Did you fuck Jacquie?’ and he was all, ‘I’m sorry, bro, I didn’t mean for it to happen.’” He shrugged as I stared at him and he went on. “I’m not looking for any fights. I mostly just want people to own up to what they did.”
“I can understand that. I admire how you’re handling things.”
He crossed his arms and peered around the restaurant, his eyes glazing over with thought.
“It hurts,” he said. My heart squeezed and all I could do was nod. Heartache was the worst kind of pain. “But I’ll be fine.” And just like that his clouded eyes cleared and I saw his strength. “You’ve lost more weight, haven’t you?” Well, that was an abrupt change of convo.
I made an exasperated sound. “Not this again. Do I look that horrible?”
“You don’t look horrible at all. I just want you to be healthy.”
I wiggled a little in my seat. I’d lost fourteen pounds, and actually, it was too much for me. I could see the bones in my chest and my booty was feeling wimpy. As in, not filling out my jeans the way I liked.
“I’ll gain it back,” I grumbled.
He made a sound and I glared. Silas shook his head. “It’s not about the weight. It’s the reason behind it.” He tapped his fingers, looking away as if he were searching for the exact right words. “I just want you toloveyourself.”
Fuck, he was calling me out hardcore. Everything inside of me froze up. I stirred my water with the paper straw, pretending to be super interested in it. Ididlove myself. Kind of. What did he see, exactly, that made him say that? Our food came, and we were both quiet as we started eating.
“How’s yoursalad?” He frowned down at my Asian sesame chicken goodness.
“Do you know how many calories are in this?” I stabbed a forkful and pointed it at him. “Stop policing my food.”
