Page 86 of Sparks
We chatted and laughed together all the way to Philadelphia. When we landed, Silas told me to hang tight while he climbed out. A man came up to our plane with a big paper bag, and the two of them began to chat.
It looked like they were taking a minute, so I did something royally stupid. I pulled out my phone and looked at Jacquie’s account. My stomach turned when I saw a new post. Not a picture of herself though. It was a beautifully designed quote: Fight for What’s Yours.
Ah, fuck me.Raw guilt like sewage rose up. The message was loud and clear. Silas was still hers and she wasn’t letting him go without a fight.
Outside the plane, Silas took the bag and gave the man a wave of thanks. I quickly put my phone away as Silas climbed back up.
“Special delivery.” He held up the bag.
“Seriously?” I had to laugh, though it felt strained now.
“No onions, right?” he asked. I nodded, loving how Silas always picked up on details when he hung out with someone. I tried really hard to push Jacquie’s words from my mind and focus on my friend.
He checked the to-go containers and handed me one. My mouth watered when I opened it and saw the cheesesteak sub with sautéed peppers and all the works, and a side of fresh cut fries, still hot. I didn’t know how Silas had these kinds of connections, but I wasn’t complaining. It was impossible not to feel special right now with all of his thoughtful attention. But there was a tinge of danger in all of it.
He picked up his giant sub and held it out. “Cheers.” I picked mine up and bumped it to his, the cheese getting stuck and stretching a little as we laughed.
We both bit in and moaned. I grabbed a pile of napkins and tried to take lady-like bites but it was really difficult.
“Good?” he asked.
“So good.” I ate as much as I could before wiping my mouth one final time and closing the lid, letting my head fall back against the headrest.
Silas took my trash and put it all back in the bag. “Glad I didn’t have to satisfy that craving alone.”
My mouth opened, but every single word I wanted to say sounded super dirty in my mind.Cravings are best satisfied with another person.Finally, I said, “Yeah. Thanks for bringing me along.”
We stared at each other a long moment until my heart began to pick up speed and I went very still. Was he going to try and kiss me? Would I let him? But it turned out I didn’t need to worry. He sat back and let out a breath, then pulled out his wallet.
“You’re going to think I’m really weird for this.”
The air in my chest stuck there as I stared down at a small beverage napkin with my handwriting.
Have a great day! ?
“It’s the first one you ever gave me.” His smile was sheepish before he carefully folded it and slipped it back into his wallet. “It made me smile, so I kept it.”
Oh, my gosh. That was so Silas. I didn’t know what to say. My soul was swirling with all the feelings.
“You think I’m weird.” He kept his eyes averted as he slipped the wallet into his back pocket.
“No, I don’t. I’m just surprised. I didn’t expect that. It’s really sweet.”
“You’re sweet, Harlow. I’ve always liked being around you.” His eyes shifted to me and the cockpit filled with tension as we locked eyes. My heart was beating too fast. His stare was penetrating, and I did not use that word lightly. His voice went soft. “You’re not going to let me in, are you?”
Fuck, I was shaking. And all of my thoughts jumbled. I shut my eyes. Jacquie’s post about second chances, and forgiveness, and fighting for him. Me compared to her. Shawn choosing his ex over me. Causing a rift between Silas and me too big and deep to overcome. The wall I’d built that still stood between us. I hated that wall, but it was necessary for my sanity and well-being. It was all too much, too fast. I opened my eyes.
“I can’t. Not yet.” My voice was dry, my heart hidden deep behind those protective shields. Because the truth was, I was the only person who could completely protect me. Silas, as much as I knew he cared, was not in his right mind. I had to make better decisions for myself. It was one thing to be attracted to Silas and appreciate the sexual-tension between us, but I couldn’t walk headfirst into heartbreak again. Not when I didn’t even have full closure from stupid Shawn. “I’m scared,” I admitted. “I need time.”
“I understand. I won’t push you.” To my relief, Silas didn’t get upset. Instead, he gently took my hand. For several minutes he held my hand in his, turning it over, both of us watching as he ran his thumb along my palm and felt his way up each and every finger. It was intimate and deep, and in that moment I felt connected to Silas in a way I’d never been connected to a man.
His eyes lifted and he watched me as his fingers stroked my palm. His intensity and steadiness were heady things to take in—I let myself get lost in him for a moment. When he finally released my hand, I felt heavy with sensuality, confused and warm. If he asked to kiss me, I would have said yes. If he asked me to climb onto his lap, I would have climbed.
But he didn’t ask any of those things. Because Silas was a gentleman. And he’d just shown me what a real date should feel like. Something had quietly shifted with us tonight and it was both terrifying and thrilling.
I cursed our horrible timing.
The following day I was scheduled to fly with pilot Heather and Silas.Sigh. I couldn’t escape him. And truth was, I didn’t really want to. As much as his attention scared me, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t flattering. Part of me felt very protective of him, and I liked keeping him near, making sure he was okay.
