Page 79 of Kiss Collector
Pfft. Right. My chin drops, and he lifts it back up with a finger. My heart trembles.
“You’re too hard on yourself.” I try to look away, but he touches my chin again. “Look, with or without something like this”—he flicks the pamphlet—“you’ll do great. Stop letting society tell you that you have to do a certain thing. You don’t gotta do what everyone else is doing.”
I know he’s talking about the college path. His words hit me, and I take a shuddering breath. All I can do is nod and turn away, because I’m feeling overly emotional.
“Thanks” is all I can say. I can’t look at him as I go.
I take my pamphlet and list of jobs back to Spanish, where everyone’s doing silent work. Mrs. Hernandez peers up at me inquisitively through her glasses, so I show her the pamphlet and whisper, “She wants me to study abroad next year.”
Her eyes twinkle, and she whispers back, “¡Maravilloso!How perfect for you!”
“Sí.”I feel stupid saying the next part. “We don’t have the money, though.” I try to smile so she won’t feel bad for me. It doesn’t work. She tilts her head and her face scrunches with pity. I shouldn’t have shown her.
“That’s really too bad, Zae. You are the textbook candidate for it.”
“It’s okay.” I smile again to show my gratitude for her compliment.
“By the way, congratulations on making prom court.”
“Thank you,” I say before I take my seat.
While I’m flattered that my fellow juniors like me enough to elect me for the court, I really wish I could give it to someonewho wants to go—someone who will appreciate the honor.
It’s hard to concentrate on my classwork. I really wish Mrs. Crowley had never shown me that pamphlet. Everyone always tells you to “dream big,” but when you’re stuck, you’re stuck. Not everyone has the means to reach higher. It’s unfair and that’s just how it is.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ifly under the radar for the next few weeks, even after my grounding is over. No parties. No kissing. No hanging out with my girls. I learn about their lives via text.
Monica makes it official with Dean.
Lin continues to get kisses from Parker the gymnast and for days I get texts like:Parkerrrrr!
I think she likes him.
Then we get a group message from Kenzie. She and Vin had their first fight. It was over food, of all things.
He’s mad cuz I don’t want to eat around him.
Why don’t you want to eat around him?Monica asks.
IDK... I just feel like a pig or something.
Oh, Kenzie.He just wants to know ur comfortable with him.
Y’all know I don’t eat a lot.
Lin writes:B— eat the damn food! U don’t have to stuff urself but it sounds like ur not eating anything around him. He’s probably worried, too.
It takes Kenzie a long time to answer, and I know she’s upset, probably crying. It breaks my heart for her. I hate that she deals with this.
She finally writes:I don’t need a guy policing what I eat or don’t eat. I deal with enough comments from everyone else in my life.
Sigh.
Vincent has grown on me, and I don’t want this issue to be the thing that does them in.
I tell her:How about a compromise? Just let him see you eating a little.
