Page 80 of Kiss Collector
She fires back:Then he’ll be like, “That’s all ur gonna eat??” It won’t be enough!
Baby steps.Lin’s text is the last one for a while.
I make the decision to do something dangerous. I pull Vincent aside at school when Kenz leaves for a dentist appointment. I make him swear not to tell Kenzie about our conversation. I know he cares about her, and he needs to know about her struggle and to be patient with her. I love him even more after we talk, because he seems to get it, and he’s thankful that it’s not just him who worries. I give him some pointers on dealing with her gently. That was days ago, and nothing more has been said. I can only hope that means the baby steps are working.
On a Sunday afternoon in late April, when prom is on the horizon, Kenz texts us and it’s apparent that things with herand Vincent are good again. Better than good:V’s brother is getting us a hotel room for prom. His parents think he’s staying at Kyle’s. Zae, can I tell mine I’m staying with u?
Ummm... first things first.Yes, OK, but r u going to have sex?????
Lin:OMG.
Monica:?? Are u??
Kenzie:Maybe? IDK, guys.
Me:Aaaaahhhhh!!!!
Lin:Tell him he has to buy condoms.
Me:Love gloves!
Lin:Willie hats!
Me:Don’t be a ding-dong, cover your shling-shlong.
Kenzie:Ew, lol!
Monica:Bawhaha! We want details.
Kenzie:Rae says it’s going 2 b awkward.
Her big sister. She’s probably right. Nothing’s like it is in the movies.
Me:I can’t believe our lil’ K-bae won’t see unicorns anymore!
Kenzie:Stop it! Don’t make me cry.
Lin:Have u n him talked about it?
Me:Wait, does V talk?
Kenzie:I do most of the talking and he smiles at me.
Monica:ROFL!!
The conversation makes me laugh, but for some reason it also leaves me feeling sad. Things are changing. We’re growing up, and there’s no going back. And in a weird way I constantly feel like I’m being left behind. Maybe because they all have guys. And futures. I don’t know. I’m just thankfulfor my job, which keeps me busy and makes me feel mature. Mrs. McOllie has started trusting me with closing duties on Wednesday nights, which means I get to count the drawer, put the earnings in the money bag, and lock up the store. A security guy comes to walk me to my car since I’m underage. I feel very official.
After a week of rain, and not being able to practice my tumbling outside, I’m excited for a sunny afternoon. Plus, Kenzie’s news about prom has left me needing to run and jump and possibly land on my head.
I’m determined to get this dang thing, and I hope it happens soon because I’m getting tired of buying Zeb Slurpees. The man at the register definitely thinks I’m a Slurpee junkie.
As luck would have it, I cannot land it. I cannot get past the barrier of fear. Every single time I come out here, I’m filled with hope that this is the day, only to remember very quickly that I can’t do it. It’s useless.
“You’re not even trying,” Zeb gripes.
“Shut up.”
“I’m not going to help you if you just yell at me!”
