Page 67 of Absolutely Pucked
Jonah was silent for a long time. “Why should any of us believe you?”
“I’m not asking any ofyouto,” Killian said. “I know that makes me sound like a bastard, but none of your opinions matter to me. The only person that matters with all this is Tucker, and I don’t know if there’s any point in telling him now. It’s not going to change the past, and I don’t want to ruin any progress he’s made.”
Jonah’s brows furrowed, and he wrinkled his nose. “So why are you here? If you saw him all happy as a pig in whatever pigs actually like to hang out in?—”
“Mud,” I offered.
“Shut up,” Jonah snapped. “Why stay, Killian—Ian—whoever you are? If Tucker was your priority, why this whole thing with Ford?”
“Because I was being a giant, selfish dipshit. I had four grand to my name that had to last four months, and I thought I would work some crappy job where Tucker would never see me and live in my car until I could get my ex and my former boss off my back.” Killian’s shoulders deflated. “Then my car went missing, and I had nowhere to go.”
“Well…shit,” Jonah said with a heavy breath of air.
“He showed up at my door half-hypothermic, and I just…I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I couldn’t let him die. There was something in my gut telling me that maybe what Tucker believed wasn’t the whole truth.”
“It isn’t,” Killian said, “but please know that it doesn’t matter.Iwas in the wrong. No matter what Delia said back then, he was still my brother. I should have never let her come between us. I should have stuck by him.”
“Yes,” Jonah said fiercely, but it was clear he was wavering even more. “You should have. That was the dickest move that has ever dicked.”
Killian’s mouth twitched. “You’d do a lot for your brother, wouldn’t you?”
“There are days I want to literally string Micah up on a clothesline by his balls and leave him out there for the fucking crows…but I would also rather die than let someone come between us like that,” Jonah said.
Killian bowed his head again and nodded. “Yeah. It’s more complicated than that with me and Tucker. It…anyway, it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
I held my breath as I could see all of Jonah’s thoughts playing out on his face. Then he turned to me. “This is killing me because I know you wouldn’t do something like this for a man who wasn’t worth it.”
My heart sped up a little. Fuck. Was Jonah going to forcibly out my feelings to Killian? If he asked point-blank, I wasn’t going to lie. But I also knew this couldn’t work, and saying the truth aloud would be so much more painful than holding it in.
“I need you to promise me you’re going to tellTucker. Everything,” Jonah added. “Both of you know he deserves atleastthat.”
“Yes,” Killian rasped.
“But…I get that it’s tricky. Whatever the fuck is going on with your life…” He started to wave his hands like he forgot he was holding the kitten, then quickly clutched her to his chest. “I get it, okay? So what I really want is for you to promise me that you’ll tell him before he figures it out on his own.”
Fuck, that was so much worse than admitting my feelings.
Having to vomit up the truth like that? To Tucker’s face?
I hated Jonah for a moment, but it didn’t last long because the fucker was right.
“I’m going to tell him,” Killian said. “I just need a little more time.”
Jonah hesitated, then shrugged. “I can give you that. He’s busy being dicked all the way down to the lust circle of hell by that cute little accountant. No need to throw a wrench in that today.”
More borrowed time. It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do.
“We should get the kitten back to my place,” I eventually said.
“Yeah. And for all this,” Jonah said with a sniff, “you’re making me dinner. Real dinner. With meat and vegetables and everything. And don’t skimp on cheese.”
I did not, in fact, skimp on the cheese. Jonah and Killian got the new kitten settled while I threw together some stuffed tortellini with shrimp and asparagus. The dish tasted more complicated than it was, but there were enough steps that I could keep myself distracted from the chaos raging around my chest.
Jonah was right. Killian was also right.
And fuck my life, but so was Tucker. Both twins were the heroes and the villains in each other’s stories at one point or another. I also had a feeling that Killian was used to self-flagellating in order to make other people happy, which made me sad.
Watching him so easily take all of the blame, he was either a raging sociopath who felt nothing so had no problem with letting people attempt to heap guilt on him, or he’d accepted that as his lot in life.
