Page 49 of My Salvation
“What is your problem today? I’m here on time. And stop sniffing me. I showered.” She waits with her hands on her hips for my reply.
Reaching out, I pull her in tight so she can feel my hard cock. “Why don’t you give me a little sugar and sweeten me up today?”
Angry, frustrated, I don’t even know what I’m doing when I kiss her. Almost punishing, the kiss starts out hard, anger bleeding into it, the need to dominate riding me hard, until her desire explodes and the kiss changes to something less tame. Her passion is a match against my control, burning my boundaries and making me feel for the first time in three years. Backing her up against the stable, our kiss is the only thing I need in that moment. It’s air to breathe, and air to the fire consuming me.
Her face wrenches to the side, and she pushes on my shoulders to step back. “Stop. We can’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
Exhaling, she takes a few deep breaths before her head drops back to the stable door. “Before Lev and Lowell, I would have taken you up on your ‘offer.’ Now? Now, I...want more.” Shrugging, she looks embarrassed. “I want the relationship they are offering. And I don’t want to settle for less. You haven’t even come to terms with wanting me physically, much less just wanting to know ME. If you had, you wouldn’t be this angry. Am I wrong? Do you know what you want?”
Fuck, no. That’s why I’m so pissed.I don’t want her to know, though.
“Aren’t you temporary? Once your assignment is over, won’t you leave? Why not have some fun with me, too?”
“Are you looking for a guarantee? There are no guarantees. Not for you, and sure as hell not for me. I can’t predict the future. I’ve agreed to give these relationships a chance. It’s a hell of a risk for me. If I had known prior to coming here I’d end up in one relationship, much less two, I’d have run far away.” Hugging herself, she blows out a breath. “Then I met them. Both Lev and Lowell fit different sides of me, and I need them. It’s been a long time since I’ve needed anyone, but I need them. A job is a job. I can work anywhere. I understand Lev and Lowell have a life here, with you and Thayer and their work. Taking them away from what they have established isn’t something I would consider.” The sincerity shining in her eyes conveys the truth of what she said.
“You kissed me back like the world was on fire and I was the water that would save you,” I taunt her. It’s cruel of me, but I’m frustrated and hard.Fuck, what am I doing? Is this what I want? For her to walk away?
Her eyes narrow as she spits out, “It was temporary insanity that made me think you cared, even for just one second.” She steps around me to leave, and I reach out and grab her arm, wanting to go back to that kiss. I freeze when her face whitens. “Let me go. Now.” I let her go immediately. “I made a promise to myself long ago I would never live with another man who didn’t treat me how I deserve. You need to get over your anger and think about what you want. While I can’t pretend the kiss didn’t happen, we can ignore it and go back to being polite acquaintances.” She walks off towards the house.
“Wait.” I protest. “What about our lesson? My time is valuable, and I set aside this time just to teach you. Is this how you treat all your responsibilities?” Wow, it’s like my asshole just grew another asshole. Anger is filling me up inside, and I can’t see past the red cloud engulfing me, wanting to lash out at someone, at her. Inhaling, I try to bring myself back under control.
“No, this is how I treat assholes. When you OFFERED to teach me, you should have been clear this was going to be a burden. I ONLY accepted so I could get to know you better. I’m sure the stable in town has an experienced teacher on staff. I’d rather pay them for lessons than spend one more second of your precious time.”
“Don’t be silly. You will not take lessons from them. They don’t know what they’re doing.”What the hell is she thinking?
“Argh! Given that I’m a grown woman, I don’t need your permission.” Her face is red as she yells.
Lev comes running up to us. Sliding up to her side, he puts an arm around her and glares at me. “What the fuck is going on out here? Shaw?”
“Apparently, I’m not good enough for a fuck, or for a lesson,” I snap. Shrugging, I watch her face get more red.
“Lev, would you mind taking me home? I won’t be staying for lunch today.” Spinning around, she marches towards Lev’s vehicle.
Lev’s face is livid when he turns back to me. “What the fuck, man? Why are you being such an asshole? This isn’t first grade. You don’t piss off the girl you like. If you don’t want to be with her, that’s fine, but youwillfucking treat her with respect. Are you hearing me? She is important to me, and for that alone, you will get your shit together. Do you understand me?” Jaw tight, I give him a curt nod. “We’ll talk about this later.”
Shit. It’s rare to see Lev pissed off. I don’t say a word as he turns around and stalks over to the vehicle to take Kate home.
Scowling, I turn around, only to see Lowell behind me, his fists held tightly to his side. I brace myself for his punch.
“If I didn’t know you cared for her, I would lay you out right now. You need to cease this bullshit and take a stand. Either you want to build something with her and us, or you don’t. Straddling the fence because you’re scared will lose you more than just her,” he says quietly before walking away.
“Fuck!” I need to get out of here so I can think.
