Page 35 of Third Time is the Charm
Beth felt Darcy’s entire body tense underneath her hand, his muscles taut with what looked like anger written on his face. Her brow creased, confused by what was going on.Hadn’t he gotten back together with Caroline?Yes, Jane had insisted that they weren’t together, that Caro was being funded by Mrs. DeBourgh, but Beth could only trust what she had seen with her own two eyes.
“Caroline,” Darcy ground out, his tone barely civil.
“Oh, don’t give me that attitude,” she continued, silkily, leaning into him, brushing her chest against the outside of his arm. “I’ll see you later and give you something to smile about.” And then, she had the nerve to wink at Beth before walking further up to take her place in line.
Beth felt like her face was beet-red after watching their interaction, her breathing labored in confusion, wishing she hadn’t seen it or heard anything that Caroline had said; it brought so many thoughts – real and imagined – into her mind that made her want to vomit.
Darcy’s arm was still tense, to the point of vibrating, underneath her hand.Why was he angry?Maybe their relationship was still a secret. Maybe he didn’t want her to approach him so publicly… like it had been the last time they were a couple. Beth groaned, the thought still painful to her.
“I’m sorry about that… about her, Beth,” he whispered as the Bingley’s made their way down the aisle, commencing the procession.
Two more couples from the bridal party made it down the aisle before Beth could find the ability to respond. “Don’t… don’t be sorry,” she said, forcing a smile, as they came up to the edge of the building prepared to be the next to walk down the aisle. “Don’t be sorry for wanting her.”
His head turned sharply towards her, shock shining in his eyes. “What…” he began, but it was their turn to walk. His expression became pained as one foot moved in front of the other carrying them out from behind the building and into the sight of the guests.
Her eyes were now focused ahead, only in her periphery could she see how tightly his jaw was clenched trying to hold back from speaking. They were only a few steps away from the start of the rows of chairs, Beth beginning to look for Colin in the crowd, when she heard the hard, harsh, yet almost imperceptible whisper from the man beside her.
“I never wanted her.”
Her breath caught, her vision blurring at the implications of his words just as she managed to catch Col’s eyes, and smiling face, in the crowd. She stumbled slightly on the length of her dress, barely noticeable because she was able to grip more firmly onto Darcy’s arm; turning her gaze forward, trying to keep the smile on her face from turning into shock.
Suddenly, she was watching her father, teary-eyed with happiness, give Jane a kiss on her cheek and give her away to Charles. Blinking a few times, she realized that she’d completely missed the rest of their walk down the aisle, Jane’s entrance and procession. Nausea rolling through her as Darcy’s words crashed over her in wave after repetitive wave.
I never wanted her.
The music ended and the preacher began to welcome everyone to the ceremony. Beth tried to direct her focus onto her sister, and keep it away from the man standing on the other side of the aisle whose gaze remained solely and intensely grounded on her. The urge to meet it burned through her, tortuously tempting her to him – a trap she’d willingly tumbled into so many times in the past. Unable to take the heat of his stare any longer, she turned her eyes out toward the guests, searching for Colin, her lifeline, in the crowd. It took her a minute to remember where she’d seen him sitting.
She found his concerned face, realizing that he, too, had been watching her, only she hadn’t felt his stare; for some reason, her body only resonated under Darcy’s eyes. He’d watched her as she walked down the aisle, and seeing her every day over the past four months, most of those days beset by hurt and sadness, he could see that something had upset her.
She gave him a small smile to try and comfort him; the last thing she wanted was him to worry about her. Her attempt worked – his face lit and Col mouthed, ‘I saw you trip,’ a huge grin spreading across his face, one that she couldn’t help but return in equal measure. She quickly mouthed ‘jerk’ back to him, biting her lip to keep a laugh from escaping. That’s when she noticed a few of the other wedding guests looking at her and then over to Col’s general area.
Beth went to turn her head back to focus on Jane and Charles exchanging their vows, but it was halted as her eyes inadvertently caught Darcy’s.She should have been more careful.Where hope had been present before, now only sadness and pain resided, the faint hint of possessiveness tainted his every feature.
He’d been watching her too, just now – her and Col.
She swallowed over the lump in her throat.Hadn’t Charles told him she was bringing a date?He probably hadn’t realized that it was Colin; he’d been jealous of Pat before and now she’d brought his brother to Jane’s wedding. She knew the conclusion he would draw – it was the same conclusion that Col had drawn when she’d invited him; and she wasn’t sure that either of them were correct in their assumption. They both made more out of it than she felt and she didn’t know how to gently tone down Col’s expectations let alone explain all of this to Darcy.
He doesn’t deserve an explanation.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister boomed in the background, almost completely unnoticed by Beth.
She pursed her lips in frustration – only for a second before the clapping and cheers reminded her of celebration going on around her and she quickly searched out a happy smile for Jane and slapped it onto her face as Charles leaned down to kiss his new bride.
The walk back down the aisle was much different than the walk up it. From the outside, she was sure nothing would have appeared off; on the inside though, something had changed. Even though she was holding on to him, he was distant; his face devoid of emotion, barely a smile gracing it just to appease the photographer and the wedding guests cheering them on as they passed by.
Funny how months ago she’d dreamt of this walk down the aisle – only she’d been the one wearing white, not Jane, and the man she’d been holding onto didn’t feel like he was trying to get as far away from her as possible.
When they finally cleared the guests, Darcy went to pull away from her, and her fingers tightened on his arm.
“Darcy,” she said, stunned by need to comfort him. “We’ll talk later?” she asked him quietly as they approached the rest of the gathered party – including Caroline, who was watching them through narrowed eyes.
His mouth tightened and he gave her a slight nod, almost in resignation, before his arm slipped away from her and he turned to congratulate Charles.
She watched him go, her tongue burning to call his name and say ‘I never wanted him. I never wanted Colin.’But, he was already gone.
Beth turned and found herself in the warm embrace of the new, Mrs. Charles Bingley, hoping that the love and happiness of her sister was contagious.
“Congratulations, Jane! I love you,” she whispered in her sister’s ear, grateful that such extreme happiness was also a reason to cry; whether it was her reason for the tears cascading down her face was another story.
