Page 34 of Third Time is the Charm
~Very funny! As long as you don’t trip me, I think I’ll be just fine.
- Well, it depends, if I trip you does that mean I get to catch you? ;)
Her breath caught; the first thought that ran through her head was ‘what if I’ve already fallen?’It was the fear buried deep down inside of her. What if she had already fallen? And not for him?
She clicked off her phone, unable to answer as she chewed on her lip, trying to decide how justified that fear truly was. She had all of these questions for Darcy, things that she’d tried to convince herself no longer mattered and no longer should play a role in her life, but instead of allowing her to move on, those questions had become a weight tethering her to her past with him. Regardless of how much she physically desired him, maybe Jane was right, maybe it was time to just put everything out in the open.
Her heart had been broken, and these past four months all she’d focused on was trying to manage the symptoms; it was like she’d been shot in the chest, and instead of getting the bullet out and letting everything heal, she’d put a Band-Aid over the wound and tried to just stop it from bleeding. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t force yourself to stop caring about something… or someone.
Who knows? Maybe her desire for him was only so potent because she felt that a physical connection to him was the only way to reach him. Or maybe she was just trying to justify that desire, and her need to be with him, by thinking that talking about it would sever whatever remained between them.
Beth shook her head as the limo pulled up to a stop in front of the venue, the bridal party beginning to unload.
It didn’t matter. For her to move on, whether alone or with Col, she had to dig in her heels, prepare for the searing pain of reliving her past, and finally dig out the bullet of betrayal that was so deeply embedded inside of her – otherwise she would always be tied to him.
Lydia brought her back to her immediate surroundings by linking her arm with Beth’s, maybe for moral support or maybe just because her feet were really hurting and having someone to lean on helped.
They followed the trail of pale teal into the building behind the courtyard. Glancing over at the setup, she saw that the musicians were there and tuning their instruments, the photographer and videographer seemed to be conversing about something involving the aisle, probably coordinating their shots. When the photographer saw them arrive, he broke from the conversation and proceeded to follow them inside the building for more posed portraits now that everyone was dressed and ready.
Beth, not too dissimilarly from Lydia, posed where she was told, smiled when she was told, only truly enjoying the few moments she had with Jane as they took photos together.
“You’re not upset by what I told you this morning, are you?” Lydia questioned her quietly as their other sisters took turns posing with Jane.
“No, I mean, certainly not upset with you,” Beth answered, then paused to think about the question. “No, I’m not upset. Of course, I’m grateful that he helped you, I just want to understand why – aside from the obvious reasons, I mean.”
Lydia nodded. “Well, he didn’t tell me that, unfortunately, but if you want my opinion… I think you might already know why; I think his reason was no different than the first time he saved me.”
Beth’s eyes darted to her sister; Lydia didn’t know, couldn’t know everything that had happened between her and Darcy. She could only know barely the surface. Why would Lydia suggest that he did these things because he loved her? Because that was his reason the first time.
“I’m sorry, Lyd, you just don’t know…” she broke off. “It’s not possible, after what happened between us. He left me, he left and chose someone else.” There wasn’t any reason to keep it from her; she couldn’t explain why Lydia was wrong otherwise.
Lydia’s brow furrowed in sympathy for her sister. “I see,” she replied, realizing that sympathy was the last thing Beth needed right now; it was past the time for that. “Every day since I left George, I wake up and wash my face, and the first thing I notice is my broken heart; the sadness suffusing from me. It was what I saw on your face yesterday when we were here. And it is what I saw on Darcy’s face when he asked me about you.” The look on Lydia’s face said that she firmly believed in what she thought she had seen, no matter what Beth would say to the contrary.
“He asked about me? What did he want to know?”
“Who asked about you, Beth?” Caroline’s sickeningly sweet voice oozed into their conversation; they’d been so deep in their conversation that they hadn’t noticed her approach them after Caroline had finished her photos with the bride and her mother.
Beth turned her head, meeting Caroline’s eyes with a cool confidence. “No one,” she responded, returning Caroline’s smile tightly. Lydia just stood silently to her side, probably completely unaware of the silent battle that was waging between the two of them.
“You look tired, Beth,” Caroline pressed on, completely ignoring Beth’s first attempt to shut her down. “Is everything ok? You really don’t look well. Old flames can do that to you.” Her phony sigh punctuating the loaded statement.
Beth felt anger burn through her, wanting to smack the smug look off of Caroline’s face – a look that taunted Beth that she had lost. What purpose it could possibly serve now was beyond her. If she had won, if Darcy had chosen her, why would she care about Beth? Why would Caroline bother harassing her?
“Time to line up everyone! We need to head outside!” Mrs. Bennet’s shrill voice rang out through the room, but the noise didn’t break the stare between Beth and Caroline. Lydia grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door at the other end of the room that would lead them out the other side of the building to where the bridal party had been instructed to assemble; the strong tug forcing Beth out of Caroline’s presence for now.
As they walked through the narrow hallway, Beth tried to look out the lightly tinted windows into the courtyard where guests were gathered in their seats, the string quartet playing, waiting for the processional to begin. She tried to look for Colin, and thought she finally spotted his dark, wavy hair just before the end of the window cut off her sight.
The groomsmen were lined up and waiting as the women exited the building. Beth’s step faltered as her eyes found Darcy’s, standing and waiting for her to take her place beside him; his face far too handsome to be looking so grim, especially for a wedding, however, there was a faint spark of hope that shone bright in his eyes.Could it really be because of her?She broke her gaze from his; she couldn’t afford to believe Lydia, not now. Jane, on the other hand, knew (mostly) the whole story, which meant her advice to at least talk to Darcy about what happened, for her own sake, was valid. Yes, Lydia had completely changed since Beth last saw her – a complete one-hundred-eighty degree turn of personality and priorities, and yes, she seemed to have gained a measure of wisdom and maturity that Beth would have previously thought impossible for her. But, it wasn’t enough to allow Beth to trust her instincts about Darcy; Lydia barely knew him.
She had loved him and even she had been completely wrong.
Beth stepped beside the imposingly impressive man who had invaded her thoughts, looking up at him from underneath her lids.
“Are you ready? You look a little flushed,” he asked her quietly. “Don’t worry, everything is going to go smoothly.” A small smile accompanying his uncharacteristic gesture of support.
Beth took a deep breath. She was fine; she was ready. She placed her hand on his arm, unsuccessfully controlling the shiver that ran through her body, the slight contact beginning to heat every cell inside of her, wanting more. His eyes widened slightly at her reaction, the hope in them intensifying slightly, unsure if he’d misread her reaction of anxiety as desire. Before she had a chance to assure him that she was, at least, ready, his head jerked to the side to look at who had placed their hand on his other arm.
“It’s so good to see you, Darcy.” The syrupy smoothness of Caroline’s voice flowed over her like lava, burning every pore with disgust.
