Page 87 of Karma
“Could’ve fooled… well… everyone.”
Sniffling, he wipes at his eyes. “You never fought back. You became the person I took everything out on because you just took it, but I never hated you. I hated what you represented. In my twisted thinking, your existence just proved my mom was really gone.”
At the end of it all, Lex realizes something. Everything Zane did, all of his terrible situations, came down to one simple fact. He’s still just that little boy who desperately misses his mom.
“I had no control over being born, Zane.”
“I know,” he says and lets the tears fall. “I’m sorry, Lex.”
She sniffles and nods her head. “I believe you.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I swear, I’m going to make it up to you. Even if it takes fifty years, I will make things right. Nothing was ever your fault, and I hate that we made you feel like you weren’t enough. You were, and you are.”
“To be fair, a good portion of this falls more on VP. He let you abuse me.”
Swallowing, he nods his head. “I don’t know what’s happening with him. He punched me at the funeral and told me not to talk to you the way I was, but then he honestly believed you’d rat over me. He goes back and forth too damn much.”
“I don’t know. He blamed me when you got kicked out of the club and left. He’s been angry with me ever since.”
‘I’ll tell him it’s not okay. None of it was okay, and Margaret told me a few things, too. He should’ve whooped my ass before you were even old enough to remember when I first ruined your parties. I wish you never knew how terrible I was.”
She smirks. “Yeah, he probably should have.”
“I’ll be right back with what I wanted to give you.”
Zane hurries outside, and Colt moves to sit beside her. Leaning back, she pulls her knees to her chest to keep him at a distance. As much as the conversation feels to be moving in a good direction, she still needs time.
“How are you feeling?” Colt asks, but there’s no mistaking the hurt on his face when she positions herself to stop him from holding her.
“It’s kind of cathartic, but there’s no magic spell to fix everything.”
“Think you can ever forgive him?”
“I already have. Not for him. For me. Doesn’t mean I’m ready to accept him back into my life, though.”
The door swings open, and Zane catches it before it slams into the hall closet door. “Sorry,” he says and walks over to her. “I know it’s not much, but I thought it might be a good start.”
A teddy bear dressed like a biker. VP had given her one when she was younger, and she loved it because she idolized him. It was her favorite until Zane ripped the head off in a fit of rage one day.
“Thank you, Zane.”
“It’s a symbol, if nothing else,” he says. “I’m going to stumble, and I won’t be perfect, but I need you to call me on my shit. Don’t shut down and just take what I may dish out, okay? Tell me when I’m wrong.”
Lex smiles and nods her head, her eyes never leaving the bear. “Okay.”
His boots clomp as he heads to the door, but he stops. “For the record, not that it means much to you right now, I do love you, Lex. You’re a good sister. One I sure as hell don’t deserve, but I’m glad I have you. And I’m glad Margaret has you, too. It’s why I can’t let you give up on me without a fight. I don’t deserve to be let off the hook like that.”
Damn it, Zane. You’re ruining my resolve to stay angry.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Griffin’s Beach
VP
“Hey, son,” VP says and walks into the house Zane bought for Lane when he found out they were having a baby. “Pretty hard day?”
“No, not really,” Zane says as he stacks the last of the boxes left.
