Page 86 of Karma
Tilting her head, Lex has to admit it’s not a bad idea. “Fair.”
“We’re moving,” he says. “I had issues sharing a bed with Anne in Lane’s bedroom. Margaret’s okay with it, and she’s taken quickly to Anne. And Anne has been far more patient and understanding than I deserve.”
“Lane would be happy you found someone. I’m kind of sad it’s not a club bunny because I’d love to have a reason to kick someone’s ass right now.”
He smirks. “I feel her with us. In the strangest of moments. Some of which should be more disturbing than they are.”
Sex. Yes, that would be awkward to have your late wife’s ghost with you while you’re going to pound town with another woman.
“And, Lucas, I want you to hear it from me again. I regret my actions and the things I said. I deeply regret it all.”
“Thanks to my former stepdad, I learned a long time ago that my face isn’t made of glass. I was fine,” Lucas says. “It’s harder to forgive what you almost did to my mom.”
He nods in agreement. “I can’t tell you that you’re wrong. You’re not.”
“Baby, can you give us some time alone?” Lex asks.
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “I’m sure.”
Kissing her cheek, he shoots Zane a death glare and heads towards his room. It’s nice to know there’s one loyal man in her life.
“That boy would murder for you,” Colt says. “I’m pretty sure he just tolerates me.”
“That’s how we all feel about you,” she says with a smirk. “Kidding. He loves you.”
“It’s nice to know he cares about your well-being as much as I do.”
The way he says it makes her snort. So much so that her brother’s back wearing the Drifter logo. The club everyone says she is.
Leaning forward, she rests her elbows on her knees and decides it’s best to just lay it all out on the line. He thinks he wants to has everything out, but he’ll probably change his mind quickly.
“You made my childhood a living hell, Zane. You put my parents through hell. I would sleep in Colt or Ky’s bedrooms when they’d fight because the screaming wouldn’t stop until three in the morning sometimes.”
“I know—”
“No, you don’t. Ihatemy birthday because you ruined every single party I ever had. I go all out for everyone else because I never want anyone to ever feel the way I did. And do.”
His face falls. “I didn’t realize I did that.”
“It’s not just you. My fifteenth birthday was the last one Mom ever threw for me here. You destroyed the clubhouse, and I ran up to the roof to not let anyone see me cry. Mom yelled at VP because he needed to do something about you, and he told her it was her fault. That she should’ve known better than to throw me a party.”
Swallowing, Zane leans forward, mirroring her stance. “Come again?”
“He told her she knew how you’d feel about it, and she did it anyway. That was the night she knew she had to leave. And for some sick, twisted reason, I felt like I had to stay. That if I stuck it out long enough, maybe, just maybe, VP would love me like he should have. That he’d finally see I was enough.”
Her eyes sting, and she looks up at the ceiling to blink the tears away. She’ll be damned if she cries in front of him.
“I had no idea,” he whispers.
“I fought so hard for all of the men in my life to love me that I thought it was normal. To become a punching bag, whether physically or emotionally, because I just wanted to be loved.”
He stays silent, and the words settle between them. She could stop here and call it a night, but she decides to keep going. Closure from VP isn’t possible, but Zane thinks he wants to know this.
“I’ve consistently put myself into positions of danger to try to prove myself because I never felt like I was important or enough to the people I valued the most. Besides Mom. But I would have given anything for you and VP to love me. Hell, I would’ve settled for indifference, but you hated me.”
“No,” Zane says, taking her by surprise when she sees the tears in his eyes. “I never hated you.”
