Page 87 of A Fate of Blood and Magic
There was affection in her words, which her eyes also reflected. She loved Etienne. Why, after years of living with her intended, had they never sealed their union? Was she hoping...for a soul-bound union instead? I’d seen the way she looked at Brenton.
“That’s good,” I said. “I’m happy to hear it.”
She stared at the glass she held on her lap. “How’s Brenton?”
“If you want to know how he is, you should ask him.”
She had plenty of opportunities to do so since he checked on Finley several times every day, but from what I could see, he didn’t really speak to her. While there’d been small moments when they’d seemed almost friendly before, Brenton had become distant toward her since Etienne’s return. But it was partially distant, where he was still readily available if she needed him.
I wanted to push him to speak to me about her, but honestly, I didn’t care who he talked to; it was simply that he did. It was evident his feelings for Finley were hurting him, and that hurt was growing with every passing day.
When Brenton returned, he gave me a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. He sat at my side and put me in a headlock before he jumped away, apologizing for messing up my hair. I grunted, making him laugh.
After grabbing his glass and taking a long pull, he turned to Finley. “If you want to know how I am, ask me,” he said, repeating my words back to Finley.
Beside me, Finley straightened. “Would you tell me?”
Brenton hummed.
“This, right here.” She huffed in exasperation. “I’m tired of this.”
He took another long drink from his glass until it was empty before he pulled me to him, so I leaned against him, and he rested his chin on the top of my head.
“Why can’t you be normal and talk to me like you used to?” she asked, pushing herself from the couch to her feet.
“Like I used to?” He let out a dry laugh.
“I’m just going to—” When I moved to stand, Brenton’s hold on me tightened.
I looked back at him, and his eyes seemed to beg me to stay. Despite the awkwardness, I didn’t try to move again.
“Yeah.” She tossed the single word loud enough I was certain every fae in the castle heard her. “I don’t know what to do with your hot-cold routine. Either we’re friends again or we’re not, but I can’t deal with this back-and-forth.”
“I can’t be who I used to be because he doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Of course he does.” She stomped her foot exactly as Hee-haw did when he was angry. Actually, I’d seen Victoria do the same thing.“I see him every time you’re with your friends. With the sister magic gave you. Why can’t you do that with me?”
Brenton leaned forward, resting his elbows on his bouncing knee while he inclined his head on his palm. He’d wanted me to stay, but I wasn’t sure how I could be there for him. However, we were alike in our desire for touch and affection, especially when our emotions were heightened, so I pressed the side of my leg against his and felt the light pressure when he did the same.
“What do you want from me, Finley?” His voice sounded tired and angry and so damn hurt. “Do you want me to apologize for becoming what I had to become after you left me? Is that what you want? Because I won’t do it.”
Finley stood straighter, pressing a hand against her stomach. “I didn’t leave you. You left me. We had a plan, Brenton, and you left me to go to military school early.”
He looked up at her through haunted eyes, and it made my heart tremble. “What else was I supposed to do? You chose wealth and stature over me. Forget about us being soul-boundmates, you were my friend. My very best friend, and you chose Etienne and what his family could offer over me. I get it, though.” Dejected, he shook his head. “I knew your parents didn’t think I was good enough for you. I just never expected you to agree with them.”
A strangled noise fell from Finley’s gaping mouth.
“I left, but only after you’d made your choice clear. And then I did what I had to do to put myself back together. I don’t care if you don’t like who I became without you.” He rose, and I stood with him. When he reached his hand back, I grabbed it and gave him a single squeeze that he returned. “So no, you don’t get the easy smiles or the jokes and teases. I reserve that for the people who helped me smooth out the sharp edges of my soul that you created.”
With his face turned down, Brenton stalked past Finley. I followed, taking in the surprised and pained look on her face. We went through the castle until we reached the door to an empty courtyard no one frequented. Once outside, he whirled around and started to pace. I took a step back to give him room while I watched him.
I knew Brenton on an almost instinctual level because of the bond we shared, but I didn’t have a lifetime of experiences with him to know what he needed from me now. So, while I knew he’d want to fall back on humor to alleviate the despair writhing inside him, I wasn’t sure it was what he needed. At least not yet.
This was a period of years spent continuously denying a bond that tied two souls together. And if Eiran had once told me that denying the bond I’d accidentally created with him would drive him mad, what was this doing to Brenton? It’d be too cruel to suggest he reject her. Although it would relieve hispain, I knew Brenton and the fae enough to know he wouldn’t. Just as Elias had once refused to reject me.
“What can I do?” I asked him.
He turned wild black eyes at me. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
