I went to him and hugged him around his waist. Embracing me back, he dropped his chin on my head. His sigh was heavy.
“You deserve better than this,” I said, cringing at my cliché words, but it didn’t make it any less true.
Huffing out a disbelieving laugh, he rubbed my arms before he pulled away.
“You do,” I said. “You have this goodness in you, this light that pulls others to you. You’re the first to be there for any one of your friends, and despite the ways Finley’s hurt you, you’ve gone out of your way for her. Elias told me what you did for Etienne and how you carried Finley to his room. I don’t know a single person who’d be as selfless as you are.”
“It isn’t enough.” His voice came out low.
In my mind, I heard the real meaning behind those words.I’m not enough.
When I grabbed his hand, he pulled me to him for another hug.
“Don’t ever think you’re not enough,” I said.
He pulled back enough to look at me through narrowed eyes. “I forgot you can hear thoughts now. It’s creepy.” The smile he gave me was brittle, as if the tiniest pressure would make it crack.
“You are enough, Brent, and you are loved. Never doubt that.” His arms wound around me tighter. “I love you for who you are. Just like our friends and the kids do. And your little nephews are going to adore you.”
“That’s not fair,” he said, pulling away. “You can’t bring up my nephews in the middle of a pity party. It softens me right up.” He ran a hand over his face. “Finley and I had a plan. She’s right about that. I met her at the public kitchen.”
My face screwed up with distaste the same way his did. While the public kitchen was intended to help those in need, providing free food without exception or expectation, it wasn’t a good place for a child. It had this off-kilter vibe that made my chest feel hollow.
“She’d already grown into her power and knew she’d be a great warrior. I wanted to join the military school to get away from the orphanage, but we’d agreed to wait until we were sixteen.” His smile was soft and held a faraway look to it. “We thought it’d give us more time to have fun and be younglings before we committed. Honestly, I went along with it because it was what Finley wanted. I would’ve done whatever she wanted. All she ever had to do was ask. We didn’t know her parents were talking aboutsellingFinley for her magic. Finley’s parents never made much of themselves. Their magic was limited, and they never found a career or path that suited them. But they were quick to take Etienne’s family money and promise Finley as Etienne’s intended.” He shook his head.
“Guardians, she was so happy when she told me about it. Her parents were signing her up for etiquette and dance classes so she could hold her own among the moreelitecitizens. She went on and on about the life she and her parents would lead because of their arranged coupling. She didn’t consider how his parents were using her unique magic to elevate Etienne’s status as a warrior. She didn’t think about how her parents were using her to elevate their own social standing. They got what they wanted, though. In all her joy, she never once considered what it would do to us, to me. Howit would leave her soul-bound mate . . . alone. So I left. It’s foolish to think how naive I’d been. I was young, sure, but I never considered a life without her. Yet here I am, playing the hero for her intended so that she can live the life I wanted, but with him instead of me.”
My heart cracked open for him, for the memories he carried that seemed sharp enough to slice through flesh and bone.
“You’re right, Ted.” He drew his brows together, the creases between them deep. “It’s killing me. This bitterness I have toward Finley and her parents . . . it’s blackening my soul. I can’t . . .”
“I hate this for you, Brent,” I whispered.
He sighed, his eyes holding all his pain. “I think I should look for my own intended.”
I felt how much it pained him to even consider those words, but maybe it would help him if he found someone. Brenton was full of love to give and deserved the best; someone who’d shower him with just as much adoration.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll support you.” I smiled, hoping to lighten his mood. “I’ll even be your wing-woman.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means if you find a woman you want to date, I’ll talk you up,” I said. “Tell her all your qualities and what she’s been missing out on.”
“That sounds exhausting.” It came out lighthearted as he tapped his shoulder against mine. “Once you start telling her all about my extraordinary qualities, how will you ever stop?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“First, let’s get through your coronation,” he said. “I’m worried your tiny, fragile human neck won’t be able to carry a queen’s crown.”
I ran my hand over the back of my neck. “Leave my normal-sized human neck alone.” Then I grinned up at him. “Brent, I have the best idea.”
Or maybe not the best idea, but it’d make him smile and keep his mind occupied for a bit.
“It better be good, or I’m revoking your good-idea card.” With his mischievous grin, his eyes finally returned to their natural color with little flecks of gold surrounding the hazel.
“Shut up, it’s going to be amazing.” I grabbed his hand and took him to the garden. I dropped to my knees, and he did the same.
“Now’s not the time for gardening.” He flicked my nose.