Page 21 of Because of You
“What just happened with your face?”
“Huh?”
“You made a really weird face just now.”
“No, I didn’t.” Yeah, I probably did.
“Yes, you did.” Dammit.
“Don’t worry about it, Jer.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. I’m curious as fuck. You have a secret. You never have secrets.”
If only he knew.
“I don’t.”
“You do. Tell me everything.”
Embarrassment lowers my defenses enough that I fold like a house of cards. I unlock my phone, which still has my text thread with Hallie on the screen, and hand it to him. Then, I bury my face in my hands so I don’t need to see his reaction.
“Wait, dressing room pictures? You asked her for dressing room pictures? Is this, like, an inside joke or something?
“It’s not,” is all I can manage.
Jeremy bursts out laughing. “Why would you ask her for dressing room pictures, you pervert?”
I groan, and finally lift my head. “I have no clue. My hands just typed it. I take no responsibility. I think I blacked out for a second.”
“Why would your subconscious ask Hallie for naked pictures, unless…holy fuck, dude.”
“I didn’t ask her for naked pictures, and holy fuck, what?”
“You kinda did though. I always thought we were just joking around about the you and Hallie thing.”
“We were always just joking around,” I say weakly.
Jeremy quirks a brow at me. “Convincing, man.”
“There is no me and Hallie thing.”
“But you want there to be.”
I say nothing, but my silence says everything.
“Whooo boy, this is an interesting development.”
“It’s not a development,” I mumble, regretting the words the second they come out of my mouth.
“What do you mean, it’s not a development?”
I think it’s feeling like an idiot from texting Hallie earlier and sitting with my best friend in our favorite bar that’s to blame for what happens next. I open my mouth and the words come tumbling out. I tell Jeremy everything. About senior year and watching Hallie come down the stairs, and realizing I had feelings for her, and the feelings never going away. About comparing every single woman I have dated for the last decade to her. About feeling like a live wire every time she’s around. About how it’s getting harder and harder to hide what I feel. And about how terrified I am of telling her and ruining our friendship and messing with our family dynamic.
When I finish, I reach for my beer and drain it, feeling both stripped down and also a little dizzy with relief that, for the first time in over a decade, I’m no longer the only one who knows my biggest secret.
“Jesus, that’s a lot to have carried on your own for all these years.” Then he eyes me, a smirk crossing his face.
“What?”
