Page 81 of Hayden's Haven
After crying in her pillow and drifting off to sleep, Mila got up and showered. The water went a long way toward making her body feel better, but nothing would soothe her soul. She hadn’t realized how much she had hurt Hayden until she had seen the hatred in his face as she spoke to him in the middle of camp.
His entire body had brimmed with a tension that she had seen in Vance every time he used his fists on her to relieve that anger. Holding the anger in wasn’t good for Hayden.Shewasn’t good for him, but she wanted him. He had been right earlier, saying they needed to stay away from each other.
If he had ever loved her at all, it wasn’t enough to overcome the damage she had done by lying. True love could allow a person to overcome anything, couldn’t it? Of course, it could. That was the premise of the blood-bond, after all. It’s the very reason forced blood-bonds never took. Love was the ultimate tie between two people. Hayden had spoken of a blood-bond because it’s what all shifters wanted with a mate. That ultimate connection that brought an intimacy so close they could sense what their mate was feeling. Wanting it was natural, but achieving it without real love as the foundation for the bond was unrealistic. They would have found that out soon enough.
No, Hayden hadn’t loved her. If he had, he would have given her a chance to explain everything. What he had thought was love, what caused him to talk in terms of blood-bonds was nothing more than a manifestation of his drive to protect the shifters under his charge. And it had started back in Wyoming, the moment that shifter had tried to rape her.
Hayden had watched over her ever since. It was a drive he had that probably resulted over his inability to save his brother from their uncle and to save Reina too. Those events in his life had molded him. It’s not like she had anything to offer him other than sex, and sex couldn’t be the foundation for a relationship, let alone the blood-bond.
As she got dressed, she resolved herself to doing as Hayden asked. She’d keep her distance and give him time to heal and move on. Maybe eventually, if she were lucky, they could be friends, or at least she’d be able to walk across camp without feeling that stabbing pain in her stomach that had been her constant companion for the past three days.
The knock at the door startled her. She hoped it wasn’t Lars again expecting to take her to the cookhouse for dinner. She wasn’t quite sure he had gotten the message when she said she needed time to think. If it was him, she’d have to be blunt and say she wasn’t interested. Forget his logic that he was a weak shifter and therefore perfect for her. That alone wasn’t the reason for being with another shifter. Weak shifter or not, being with Hayden had shown her there was much more to being with another than a mere matching of abilities. There had to be a deeper connection, like the one she’d had with Hayden, or rather the one shethoughtshe had had with him.
The knock sounded again, eager, impatient. “I’m coming!”
Mila finished shoving her feet into her boots as she reached the door. The knock was louder this time. She didn’t bother reaching for her coat. What if it was a medical emergency?
“Yes, what is it?” she asked as she flung the door open. Before she could react, Vance’s hand clamped over her mouth.
Chapter Seventeen
HAYDEN
Hayden dragged himself out of bed. He needed to wash the sheets to get Mila’s scent out of them. Nightmare after nightmare had plagued him all night long, each one ending the same, with Mila’s death. It wasn’t the first time he had dreamt of someone dying, and it wouldn’t be the last. The dreams were nothing more than a residual effect of having killed shifters and even a few humans over the years, but he never let them drag him under. He did what he needed as second to protect the pack, and he always would. That thought was becoming clearer each day, now that Mila was out of his life. And yet nothing felt the same without her.
Her words yesterday in particular haunted him. Perhaps that was the reason he had dreamt of her. She had spoken of forgetting her place as a weak shifter, as if she was beneath him. That left a dead feeling in his stomach. He was starting to understand how a smart woman such as Mila could end up under Vance’s paw, unable to break free. Her parents, hell her whole pack, had worn her down over the years, telling her that as a weak shifter she had little to no value.
This was what Tess had warned Damien about months ago. Shifters had a social class system that was harmful to so many shifters. Even now, it made him so angry to think about all she had been through. He wondered what he had said or done to make her fear telling him the truth. He could care less if he mated a strong shifter, weak shifter, or human. What would be would be. He just wanted someone who accepted him for who he was.
Hayden grabbed the pillow and thrust his face against it. He inhaled long and deep, breathing in what remained of her scent. Maybe she just wanted to be accepted for who she was too, and that’s why she had lied. The label of weak shifter never got anyone anywhere.
Someone was pounding on his door. Hell, it was too early for this. He glanced outside. The sun was barely up and they’d received another foot or so of snow.
“Hayden! Open up!”
It was Frank yelling. Hayden pulled his pants on. “It’s open,” he yelled back.
“You alone?” Frank asked from the living room.
Hayden grabbed his sweatshirt and met him in the living room. “No one since Mila.” He didn’t expect there’d be anyone too, not for a long time, if ever. When he left her, he had left a piece of himself behind, a large piece. No one would ever make him feel whole again.
Frank tossed Hayden’s boots at him. “Hurry.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Robbie’s dead. Neck broken, throat torn out.”
“What!” Hayden said, and then his heart nearly stopped. Robbie had been guarding Mila last night. “Where’s Mila?”
“Missing. Her coat’s still at Aloe’s, but she’s missing. One of the kids found Robbie down by the lake. We already checked for Mila but couldn’t find her or her scent trail anywhere. The wind’s making scenting impossible, and whatever tracks she left are under another foot of snow. I was hoping she was here with you.”
Hayden and Frank rushed to the center of camp where Blade was organizing search parties and Callen was giving out orders to perimeter guards. Damien was nowhere to be seen. That creep Lars was right there in the middle of the search party, pretending to be as shocked as everyone else.
Shifters screamed and darted out of Hayden’s way as he charged at Lars. He hadn’t shifted yet, not fully. Just his claws, which were presently wrapped around Lar’s throat as he threw him to the ground and kneeled on his chest. Ribs cracks beneath his weight.
“Where is she? What have you done to her?” Hayden growled out the words, the rage coursing through his body made speech difficult, but not impossible. He was going to get his answers one way or another.
In his peripheral vision, he could see shifters moving around him, but they were smart enough not to approach. At this moment, with Damien not present, Hayden was their alpha and they didn’t dare interfere.
