Page 80 of Hayden's Haven
“Return with me. Take the time you need. Let us help you. Or not. No pressure. Just come back and give yourself time to figure out where you belong.”
That was the problem. Hayden didn’t belong anywhere. Damien was implying he belonged back with the pack, but he had never belonged there. Hayden closed his eyes as the wind caressed his face. He could almost imagine Mila’s touch. His heart was racing, and his soul had been rent in two. He belonged with Mila.
Damien’s heavy hand landed on Hayden’s shoulder. The alpha turned him toward camp. The next thing Hayden knew, they were walking in silence, in the direction of camp.
“What about Drake?” Hayden asked when they reached the outskirts of camp.
“It’s not your worry now. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I’ll think of something.”
Except it was Hayden’s worry. It was his brother, and he was the one who could do something to fix the situation. He had a responsibility to this pack as much as he had to Drake.
Another sigh from Damien. “Maybe we should focus on freeing Liam’s pack.” Damien had relaxed. His voice and mannerism had returned to normal, as if nothing had ever happened between them. His alpha was a forgiving shifter, something Hayden had always admired about Damien.
“Freeing Liam’s pack will be worse than invading Drake’s territory and hunting him down,” Hayden offered as he released a deep breath he had been holding. For a brief moment he felt like himself again, the shifter who’d been smiling and joking around with the guys a few months ago.
“Trying to make you challenge him was a bad idea.”
It had been a good idea. Hayden simply hadn’t been prepared for it. Still wasn’t, but he was starting to see there really was no other choice. Except he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Anyone else but Drake.
As they entered camp, Hayden immediately caught Mila’s scent. He stopped short and spotted her talking to Lars. Green eyes found him, and her face, her precious face, held a longing he had not expected to see.
“Go to her,” Damien whispered from his side.
“No,” Hayden said, prying his eyes from her to face Damien. “We have work to do.” With that, he headed toward Damien’s house. Hayden still planned to leave Damien’s pack, but he’d do so after he helped his friend and alpha come up with a plan to save Liam’s pack.
Mila raced ahead and intercepted them. “Can we talk, Hayden?”
“Meet me inside when you’re ready,” Damien said, excusing himself.
“There’s nothing to say. I didn’t rat you out to Damien, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Her face twisted like she was going to be sick. He knew the feeling. Keeping his hands behind his back, so he didn’t reach out and touch her was a challenge, but looking at her eyes lower as if she were standing before Vance, fearing him, was downright sickening.
Did Milafearhim now? As subtly as he could, Hayden scented the air. No, that wasn’t fear he scented. She had lost the confidence she had gained over the past few weeks. Vance, her parents, Truman. . . They had destroyed Mila’s confidence to the point that she couldn’t speak her mind, couldn’t tell the truth about who she was. She’d been building up her confidence here, too, and she’d made great progress, but it hadn’t been enough.Haydenhadn’t been enough for her, or she never would have lied to him.
“I never wanted to lie to you,” she said, raising those beautiful green eyes to him.
His wolf was alert, ready to circle her, protect her, show her to whom she belonged. Except his wolf wasn’t in charge here, his wolf didn’t understand what it meant to be lied to, to be deceived.
Her lips quivered and parted. “ I just wanted you to know that was the only lie I told you. I didn’t want you to know I was weak.” She shrugged. “I was afraid you’d think less of me, get rid of me, and I wasn’t ready for that. It’s why I avoided you in the beginning, but you were so hard to avoid. I guess it was easier to ignore my situation and just live in the moment, to explore what a relationship could be like, one without pain and fear, I mean. I didn’t mean to play with your feelings. . . I. . . I made a lot of mistakes with you, Hayden, including not giving you a chance to hear the truth and deal with it, one way or another.
“Maybe it’s best this happened now. I know you want a blood-bond with a strong shifter. Just for the record, I never would have blood-bonded you. That’s not what I wanted from you. I wouldn’t drag you down to my level. You’re a strong shifter and that’s something to be proud of. I’ve watched you shift. Your strength humbles me. I would never take that from you, make you suffer, but it seems I still ended up hurting you. And that’s on me. I guess, well, I forgot my place for a bit. That’s the thing with weak shifters; we know our place, or at least we’re supposed to. You made me forget that for a while, and it was nice not feeling like less.”
She glanced over her shoulder at Lars who was still waiting for her. “Lars asked me out.”
Of course, he did. The shifter would be crazy to pass up someone as smart and giving as Mila. But the thought of Lars or any other male touching her sickened Hayden. Hayden kicked his wolf down, yet again, the third time in as many minutes. The beast had no say in the matter. It didn’t matter who she went with as long as she kept her distance from Hayden.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you about Lars. The guy creeps me out and. . .” She bit her lip. “He’s not you, Hayden. No one will ever be you. I shouldn’t even be over here talking to you, but I. . .” A tear slid down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away as she averted her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Hayden, for everything. I just wanted you to know I lied about my abilities, but nothing else. Everything else was real. At least for me it was.”
“Let’s go, Mila,” Lars called from the distance. Mila visibly shuddered, but turned from Hayden and ran. Not to Lars, though. Toward Aloe’s house. Lars raced after her. Hayden steeled himself. She was no longer his to worry about. He had a long-standing rule that once he broke up with a woman, he never went back to her. The initial period after the break-up was always awkward, even hard, but it was something he had suffered through before. This would be no different.
Hayden stared down the path toward Aloe’s. Mila was no longer his concern, but Drake was and always would be. Hayden headed into Damien’s house. One way or another, he’d figure out what to do about Drake. As for Mila, she didn’t need him, she never had.
* * *
MILA
