Page 55 of First Impressions
Beth didn’t know if her sister’s opinions were helping or hurting more at this point. Either way, the bottom line was the same: Jane was right.She was so right; how could she have been so blind?
She could blame it on her emotions, being so wired that she wasn’t thinking clearly. She could say that it was easy for an outsider, like Jane, to see the big picture; but that would be a lie. She had been blinded by her pride in her independence and her own need for control, and by her prejudice against him for not being open with her, assuming that he must have done something dishonorable, that she completely missed the most blatant observations available.
The very same qualities that she had held against him, she had been guilty of herself, and not only was she in the wrong, but she had let those qualities destroy her chance for love.
“You’re right, Jane. You’re so right,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion and tears. “What have I done?” Thetears began to roll uncontrollably down her face as she searched her sister’s gaze for some answers.
“B, it’s all going to be ok. This is Mr. Darcy we are talking about; the man who always gets what he wants. If he loves you like he says he does, then he won’t give up on you that easily. He will try to rectify the mistakes that he’s made, that you’ve accused him of, and if he wants you, he will open up to you completely,” Jane tried to reassure her.
It’s true; he did always get what he wanted. But what if she truly had lost his good opinion this time? What if she had finally pushed him too far?
“Beth? Are you ok?”
Vaguely Jane’s voice cut through the fog. She hadn’t realized that she had spaced out, as her mind spiraled through all the possibilities of what Darcy could be thinking about her right now.
“I’ll be ok,” she shook her head and mumbled, “I think I’m just going to go lie down for a little while. I’m so tired.” Jane gave her a questioning stare as Beth forced herself to steadily stand up from the couch and make her way back to her room.
“Just let me know if you need me.”
Beth turned, “I’m sorry for everything, Jane.”
Jane gave her a weak smile and nodded before turning towards the kitchen, trying to hide the fact that she, too, was on the brink of tears.
Beth closed her bedroom door and collapsed onto her bed. In spite of her ruminating, she was asleep within minutes and didn’t wake up again until morning.
Unsure how it was possible,she woke up still feeling tired even after sleeping over twelve hours. Beth looked at the clock and realized it was eight forty-five; she was supposed to be at work in fifteen minutes.Shit.
Dragging herself out of bed, she went into the living room searching for her phone. She saw it lying on the kitchen counter with a Post-It on top.
I already called Phil and told him you would be working from home today. Told him the party was a huge success and you were drained. - Jane
Beth smiled. Jane was really the best out of all of them, giving her not just any excuse to recuperate at home for the day, but an excuse that made her look good to her boss.
The first few hours of the morning passed in a daze. Her mind was focused on Darcy while her body went through the motions of eating, showering, and unpacking. Deciding it was finally time to do at least some work today, Beth grabbed her laptop and sat down on the couch.
Knock, knock.
In an instant, her body was on edge. The last time someone had knocked unexpectedly at her door it had been Darcy. Maybe Jane was right, maybe he wouldn’t give up that easily. She shoved her computer off her lap and rushed to open the door.
“Hey, sorry to drop in on you like this.”
Beth stared at an apologetic Anne for a moment until her heart stopped racing and hurting at the realization that it wasn’t Darcy who had come for her.
“Hey, it’s ok. What’s up? Come in.”
“Ok. I can’t stay; I have to meet my mom for lunch.” She gave Beth a knowing glance. “I stopped by your office and your boss said that you weren’t coming in today; he looked a little concerned but I told him that it was a personal visit, not business, don’t worry. I had to see you, though.” Here Anne paused and bit her lip, appearing afraid to continue.
“Is everything ok? What’s going on? Did your mom find out something?”Just what she needed right now, to have that woman put an end to her career.
“Oh, no! No, no. Nothing about my mom, thank God,” Anne laughed nervously, “No, I’m here as a messenger, again. I told him I didn’t want to, that I didn’t feel right being in this position again, but he said he knows that you don’t want to see him but that you had to have this today.”
Beth’s heart started beating in her ears.Darcy had sent her a message.She stared expectantly at Anne as she pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to Beth.
“Please don’t be upset with me. He just seemed really desperate and I couldn’t turn him down.”
Anne’s pleading tone made Beth realize that she had completely ignored the part about how her friend clearly thought she was going to be mad at her because Darcy couldn’t deliver his own message, again. Taking the envelope, she reassured Anne that she wasn’t upset.
“No, don’t be sorry. Please. I’m just glad you told him you’d come. We didn’t exactly leave things on the best note, but I’m sure he told you that.”
