Page 26 of First Impressions
Char sat down on the other side of the bed, facing her friend, as Beth began to recount every encounter she’d had with Darcy since the Gala. She told her about every kiss, leaving out certain, inconsequential details, continuing to share everything he had said to her, what he had said to Jane, how he had treated her before and during dinner. She told her about meeting George Wickham and what he had accused Darcy of. She told her about Mrs. DeBourgh asking her to spy on him, inviting herself to their ball; she told her about the email last night that had caused her meltdown and had her falling asleep at the office. She admitted how guilty she felt, not just keeping it all from Jane, but avoiding her because she didn’t want to hear about Jane’s happiness and her excuses for Darcy. When she was finished, she looked up at Char, drinking her wine, eyes wide with disbelief.
“So, yeah. That’s what’s been going on and why I’m a mess.” Beth waited for a response.
“Well I can’t say I was expecting all that. Here I thought your mom had done something ridiculous too, but Mr. Darcy? And you?” She shook her head. “My mind is legitimately blown. I mean the man was an ass to you, but initially I think I have to agree with Jane. He acts and sounds like he’s in second grade and doesn’t know how to properly express his feelings.”
“Seriously?” Beth asked, floored that Char was now the second person to have that perception of his actions.
“Well, I mean it’s definitely very plausible and makes the whole thing a little more reasonable. I’ll admit, it’s not the best rationale; I’m not sure why he would compliment you to Jane, and then insult you the following night at dinner. Or why he would have treated Mr. Wickham so disingenuously. He’s a walking contradiction. Have you considered a mental disorder?” Beth laughed and admitted that she had suggested the same thing to Jane in all seriousness. “I mean, he’s really pulling some Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde shit, but I doubt he’d be in the position he’s in if that were really true.”
“Yeah, that’s the conclusion that I had to come to.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, B. In spite of everything shitty he has done, he isclearlyattracted to you. Man, what I wouldn’t give for someone to jump me at work like that.” She refilled both of their wine glasses with a look that said ‘don’t judge me.’
“Yeah, well, if you felt as torn up about it as I do right now, you might reconsider.” She took her refilled glass back from Char. “It was just unlike anything I’ve ever experienced; something I’m not sure I’ll find again and that’s why it’s so painful to think that it’s been left unfinished. There’s just this ache from the thought that it could have been so much more; which is a crazy thought when I sit back and think about who I’m talking about, but I can’t help it.”
“You know you have to tell Jane about this, right? You can’t hide from her or her happiness forever.”
“I know.” Beth’s eyes became downcast as she thought about her sister’s genuine concern for her. “I just need to make it through the weekend on my own. If I tell her now, she’ll say something that will give me some shred of hope, and I just don’t think I can recover from losing that again.”
“I understand. Are you going to go home tomorrow night or do you want to stay here?”
“Well, the Plaza always gives us a complimentary room for having the event there, so I thought I might as well just stay at the hotel. No one else is going to use the room anyway.”
“Ok, well you are always welcome to stay with me.”
“Thanks…” Beth’s voice trailed off as her inner turmoil began to maneuver back to the forefront of her thoughts.
Seeing dismay start to creep over her friend’s face, Char took control of the conversation. “Well, hopefully, you have a hot dress for tomorrow night. Sounds like it’s time for you to show Mr. Crazy just what he is missing.”
“Haha, I think he already knows.”
“Trust me, if the man likes you, or even just desires you that much, he deserves to suffer. Maybe I can even keep Lydia busy for a few songs so you can dance with George; nothing like your quasi-brother dancing with your woman to make you jealous.” Char gave Beth a mischievous grin.
“Yeah, ok. I’m definitely not his woman. And I don’t think Mr. Darcy is the jealous type.”
“All men are the jealous type; you just wait and see.”
The girls moved onto other subjects while they finished their wine and got ready for bed. Finally talking to someone about everything that had happened felt like such a relief for Beth. She felt less tense, less concerned about what was going to happen tomorrow. She sent Jane a text before going to bed apologizing again and letting her know they would talk tomorrow. She went to bed knowing at least the Darcy in her dreams wouldn’t ignore her.
Chapter Eighteen
Beth wokeup the following morning at eleven-thirty, which was surprising to her because she was usually up by seven. The stress and emotions of the past few days must have really taken their toll and she was thankful that her friend had let her sleep in; she would need all the energy she could get to make it through the night in one piece.
She found Char downstairs arguing with her mom over which dress she should wear, her mom insisting on the black. Beth suggested that they head back to her apartment for the rest of the day and get ready there together. Eager to get away from disappointing her mother, Char readily agreed. From her perspective, Beth hoped that with Char in tow and the excitement over the party, Jane would be reluctant to question either of them about what was going on. Char packed all of her stuff as Beth texted her sister to let her know that they would be heading over soon.
They made it back to Beth’s apartment by twelve-thirty, having stopped for coffee and breakfast along the way. Jane greeted them with a smile, only slightly diminished as she saw Beth’s still semi-exhausted face.
“I didn’t know you guys were planning on getting ready here. I told mom I would go over there and help Lydia and Kat get ready; I thought I would have been here by myself otherwise,” she said with real dismay. “I can call them and tell them I’m not coming if you want.”
“That’s ok, Jane. It’s probably better that you and Charles arrive with mom and dad since dad is announcing tonight.” Beth hated the guilt and worry she had caused her sister to feel.Just one more day.
“If you are sure,” Jane conceded. “I don’t have to go over quite yet though.”
“Oh, good! I want to hear all about your Charles. Beth was useless except to tell me that things are moving super-fast,” Char interjected, excitedly. At the mention of his name,Jane lit up and began to tell their friend all about her blossoming relationship.
Grateful for the distraction, whether it was intentional or not, Beth left them to go take a shower. She’d basically been in the same clothes for the past 3 days and she was really starting to smell like it. She took her time, letting the hot water relax her. As her mind drifted to Darcy, she realized that she felt numb to his name. It was like the emotional overload that he had caused left her insensitive to him, a natural defense mechanism to keep her from hurting anymore.
When she finally got out of the shower, Jane was just getting ready to leave.
