Page 76 of Heston
“Lancaster and I had a very insightful discussion,” Alex continued conversationally, “of course, I did all of the talking. But him asking London over and over for my location told me that he had more than one person inside that Washington hospital working for him. I’ve tasked Mark and Murphy to track down everyone who had access to me or Kelsey. Also, you might as well know, I’m hiring London. Told Mark to do the paperwork. She’s got an uncanny sense for investigations, andshe was willing to die for two people she’d barely met. Think she’ll accept my offer?”
Heston ran a hand over his head. “I’m not even sure she’ll stay with me.”
“She will, Hes. London’s smart. She isn’t going anywhere without you,” Alex said with more confidence than Heston felt. But Alex believing that she’d stay—helped.
Heston lifted to his feet and walked inside for another round of caffeine.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“I don’t know,” London breathed. Kelsey wanted to know why she hadn’t confided in Heston since her abduction or told him how she felt. London had no good reason. Only knew it would take time for her to put the mess with Obermeyer, Keane, Malloy, Bates, and Lancaster and Miles Wirth behind her. She’d have to work through that. She just didn’t know how. She’d faced miserable pain at those men’s hands. For the love of God, recovery was going to take time.
“I hate to ask but… were you raped, sweetheart?” Kelsey asked gently. “I was. I’ve been in your shoes. I know what you’re feeling.”
She was a tiny but beautifully elegant woman. There was a section of shaved scalp above one ear, but London only noticed because she knew where to look. Kelsey was still a little banged up from her near-death experience. The fingers on her right hand were bandaged together, making it look like she was wearing a white mitten. She must’ve hit that cattle guard with her right side since that was where most of her injuries were. Her right wrist was wrapped and her right arm was in a sling. She was still fighting pneumonia, maybe more, which explained her raspy, smoker’s voice.
The woman’s pretty brown eyes were the problem. Kelsey seemed to see through London. No one had done that before. It was unnerving but, in a weird way, it was also—kinda good. London shook her head at that inane, random thought. She didn’t need anyone inside her head, not until she figured her head out herself.
So she told Kelsey, “No. He, he didn’t get that far, but the look on his face when he told his guys to come watch while he… while he…” London choked. Shivers raced up her spine as the evil gleam in Obermeyer’s eyes that day speared her all over again. She wanted to throw up. Fighting the instant chill in the room and the nausea in her gut, she scrubbed her palms up and down her biceps. If only it worked.
But nothing warmed her these days. Not Heston. Not all the layers of clothes she wore. Didn’t matter how many blankets she cowered under on the twin bed upstairs in Heston’s extra room, or how far she turned up the thermostat. She’d ruined everything with Heston the moment she’d decided to go for that damned morning run. How she wished she’d stayed in bed. She’d be plenty warm now.
London crossed her arms and leaned her butt against Heston’s washer, setting a firm boundary, not wanting to hear whatever Alex’s wife thought she had to say. Words were no help. Why bother saying anything at all? London was stuck in a hell of her own making, and she knew it. She used to be stronger. So much braver. She used to know precisely what she wanted from life. But now? All those silly dreams felt like one big lie.
There was a wall between her and Heston she didn’t know how to breach. A wall she’d built and reinforced daily. He hadn’t known before that hiding, running, and pushing people away were what she did best. Being lonely was a well-learned survival skill from her childhood. It worked within the four walls of her parents’ home. Avoiding her mother was probably the first thing London learned as a toddler. It worked then and it would work now.
She’d let Kelsey give her polite, little spiel. She’d be courteous and act like she was listening. What would it hurt? Once Kelsey realized how useless her buck-up-and-get-over-it solutions were, she’d get good and gone. London planned totell her goodbye, run upstairs, lock herself in her bedroom, and lick her wounds then. Maybe she’d have a good cry. Maybe she wouldn’t. Who knew what she’d do when she was alone again. London didn’t.
She had no idea what to tell Alex’s wife anyway. They had nothing in common. Kelsey was one of those supremely confident types. She was a CEO’s wife and belonged in the spotlight with her OCD husband. She probably met with prime ministers’, celebrities’, and other important men’s wives all the time. Probably knew how to work a crowd. Probably—
“Come here, sweet girl.” Damned if Kelsey didn’t jump to her feet so fast that it startled London. She spread her arms wide open and continued with, “I know you love Heston, but he’s a man and you need a mother right now. Get over here and let me hug some loving back into you.”
Oh, my gosh! The nerve! Kelsey was exactly like her husband! Brash and bold and bossy and—!
Those damned high walls crumbled. Frightened and not feeling brave in the slightest, London took a tiny step toward Kelsey.
Kelsey matched her with another fragile step forward. There she was, walking with a broken hip when she should be sitting down and—
Oh, what the hell. London caved, and for the first time in her life, found herself wrapped inside a real mother’s arms. Kelsey wasn’t a large woman. Petite, maybe five foot tall. Maybe not. Thin, probably too thin and still pale and weak. But her arms felt so, so good, and she was here. She’d come straight from her hospital bed just to hug London. Just to be here with her, and for her, just for her, and… and…
The notion that a stranger wanted her when her mother hadn’t, was just too much. London squeezed her eyes tight. Hot, salty tears slipped between her eyelids anyway. In mere seconds,this kind woman’s thoughtfulness reduced her to tears, snot, and stupid, noisy hiccups she couldn’t stop. The harder she tried, the harder she cried, and the harder she cried, the more those hiccups hurt.
Kelsey didn’t seem to mind the mess London was making on her blouse. She pulled a handkerchief out of nowhere—a cloth handkerchief.Who even carries one of those anymore? Who even knows where to buy one?They got used and abused with disgusting human waste and had to be laundered and… and… Kelsey just kept holding on, smoothing one warm hand over London’s shivering back, and murmuring while she wiped London’s eyes with the other. “You poor, poor thing, I’ve got you now. Everything’s going to be okay. There, there, let it all out. I promise, you’ll feel better. You’ll see.”
“No, I won’t,” London bawled. She wanted so hard to believe. But really? “How’s anything ever going to be okay? N-n-no, I’m…I’m not… I’ll never be okay a-a-again,” she stuttered like a silly teenager after her first breakup.
“Oh, yes, you will, because you’re smart and you’re stronger than you know. You’re a winner. Anyone with a brain in their head can see that,” Kelsey whispered against London’s teary cheek. “It takes a while, sweetheart, but eventually, time softens the sting of cruelty. It really does. The pain and grief never go completely away, but you learn to live around them. They become a big old rock in our hearts. We can’t make it go away, and we wouldn’t if we could, but we can learn to live around it. To be happy again. Alex told me a secret, back when all I wanted to do was curl up on my babies’ grave and die. Want to know what it was?”
London pulled away from Kelsey to really look at her. “You lost a baby?”Oh, my God!She couldn’t imagine the pain and sorrow. And here she was feeling sorry for herself, crying sloppy tears all over a woman who’d lost so much more than she had.
“Two,” Kelsey replied somberly.
Oh. Babies’ grave. Not baby’s grave.Two babies were in the same grave. Now London understood. Kelsey had lost two babies, not just one.
The light in Kelsey’s brown eyes dimmed. She was so pale and had no business being out of her hospital bed. Yet here she was. The sparkle faded, and London put an arm around her for a change, to comfort her so she’d know she wasn’t alone, either. “My two perfect little boys were murdered by their father,” Kelsey whispered. “He was abused as a child. His mother was a foul, disgusting old toad who poisoned his mind until he… until he did what he did.”
“I’m so, so sorry,” London anguished.
Kelsey nodded. “Thanks, London. I was pretty dumb back then. I didn’t recognize the man Nick really was. Or should I say, wasn’t? When Alex found me at the cemetery that day, I’d given up. I was done. Life wasn’t worth living. I didn’t have a speck of the will to live left. With all my heart, I wanted to die. I just wanted to be with my boys again.” Her hand lifted to her chest. Her fingers splayed over her heart as if she were reliving the worst time in her life.
