Page 59 of Damned
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kruze lay still, his arms banded like steel around his whole world. The pain in his side had grown sharper, and now the fire in his heart flamed bright and hot at Bree’s declaration. As angry as she sounded, he couldn’t help liking the divine possibility of having just made another baby with her. What would Robin say when and if she found out she was going to be a big sister? Something deep inside his psyche couldn’t wait to tell her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to Bree, though he didn’t entirely mean it. “My fault. I should’ve pulled out before I—”
“Before you what?” Bree snapped. When she lifted her head, he saw that her gorgeous baby blues were dark and angry. “I’m not one of your idiot fairytale princesses, Kruze. I’m as much to blame as you for our failure to use our big brains. Damn it!”
He took her head gently between his hands, pulled her into his face, and pressed a long, wet kiss to her swollen lips. “What’s meant to be, will be. We used plenty of protection last time. A whole box of condoms. One of them didn’t work.”
She pulled back, crossed her arms over his chest and settled her chin to her arms. Her breasts flattened against him, warming Kruze in ways Bree could never understand. Her eyes were still plenty sharp. He could almost feel the sins of his past sneaking into the afterglow.
Like the gentleman he was, Kruze ran a finger over her cheek, and tucked that rebellious strand of hair hanging in her face, back over her ear and out of her way. “You’re so beautiful,” he told her, daring to wrap this hostile woman in his arms again.
She huffed and rolled her eyes, her exasperation straight pointed at him. “I can’t believe I did it again. Am I crazy?”
Silly, silly woman. She had every reason to doubt him, but Kruze was not the idiot he’d been that morning in Paris. He had a goal and plans he desperately wanted to succeed. For once, they were both long-term. “I think the better question is, what ifwe’repregnant? You’re not in this alone, Bree. I’m here this time, and I’m not leaving you, Robin, or our brand-new Baby Bean, ever again.” He paused, his heart climbing up his throat at the very real possibility of having a family. His family. It didn’t help that his eyes kept watering.
“Baby Bean?” Sarcasm colored her question. Bree was holding her breath. She didn’t believe him. Why should she? He’d been a foolish, selfish, thoughtless prick before.
“I shouldn’t have left you behind in Paris,” he told her, his voice hoarse. “I was wrong then, and I was wrong not telling you how much I love you before. I do love you, Bree, and not just because we have a daughter between us or that we might be pregnant again. I’m glad we are, if we are. In fact…” He choked. His damned heart seemed intent on jumping off his lips. “I’m so glad…” He licked those dry lips. “… so glad I could cry. If we’re not pregnant this time, I hope we try again. And again and again. I want—”
Bree jerked away from him, blinking as if she’d never seen him before. Her breasts were on full display, her nipples pebbled and pointing at him. His palms begged to cup those babies, but he didn’t dare. She wasn’t touching him anywhere but where they were still connected like lovers, where the insides of her knees and thighs gripped his hips and legs. But he wasn’t a total idiot. Kruze could feel the chasm growing between them. This time, he was the one holding his breath.
Who’d he think he was to breeze back into Bree’s life, have unprotected sex with her, and possibly—hopefully—fill her body with another child? His child? The child of the same jerk who’d ditched her and left her pregnant before? That hadn’t been part of his plan tonight. The sex, yes, but not forgetting to use the condom in his pants pocket. He knew the rule:If you want to dance, you have to pay the piper. He’d always used protection before. Why hadn’t the thought crossed his mind this time?
Because this time, they hadn’t just had sex; they’d made love, and he knew it.
“Say something,” he begged, his body pounding with real terror now.Tell me you love me again. I know you do.
He was no catch. If anything, he was well-used, chipped, and broken. He was that damned teapot, full of steam and nothing but hot air. Worthless. Why should a soon-to-be professional journalist from New York City, possibly a celebrity newswoman, waste her lifetime on him?
“Say it again. What you just said,” Bree demanded, her attitude up and her index finger stabbing his chest. “Say. It. Again.”
She was daring him. Reining him in. Asking for something he’d never given any woman before. Even Juliana...
“I loveyou, Brianna Banks,” Kruze whispered contritely. “Only you. I do, first and forevermore, love you. And I’d really love to be part of yours and Robin’s life, if you’ll let me. It’s all up to you, Bree. Would that be so awful?”
She licked her bottom lip, drawing his attention to her lush mouth. Which had Kruze licking his lips in anticipation. Man, he wanted to kiss the hell out of that mouth. But he needed a sign first. Just one word. When it didn’t come, he ordered, “Marry me. After we get to my place. I know a guy who can marry us.”
“Your place?” she said coyly, licking her lips again. Bree knew precisely what her naked body was doing to him.
Reaching both hands to the sides of her head, Kruze took her mouth hot and hard. “Yes, my place,” he growled around her lips. “Where’d you think we were going?”
She threaded her fingers into his hair. “To Senator Sullivan’s safe house, like you said before.”
“Uh-uh.” He shook his head to make sure she understood, rubbing his lips across hers. “Sullivan owns a safe house in Maine, true. But I was never taking you there. I’ve got my own place. That’s why Chance said we were twenty miles due south of Eagle Lake. That’s where my cabin is, and now it’s all yours. You’ll love it.”
A sigh breathed out of Bree’s splendid body. “I do love you, Kruze,” she said thoughtfully, her fingers tracing over his forehead and brows and down the line of his nose to his lips. “I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you in Paris.”
He ignored the implied“but”he heard in that tender declaration. “I’m taking you there again, Bree. I’m doing everything right this time around. Say yes. Marry me.”
This time when she licked her bottom lip, his went dry. When her lashes fell, Kruze’s heart stalled. He’d jumped the gun. This was too soon, too fast. He closed his eyes, so damned emotional and as repentant as fuck. “I don’t deserve you. I know that, and I…” He’d gone from being over the moon excited to stuttering like an unthinking fool with a big foot in his mouth. A tsunami of tears welled up inside. Kee-rist! Men didn’t cry. Why the hell was he?
“Do you think…?” He swallowed hard. The real question,‘you could ever marry me?’wouldn’t come, and it was a weak man’s question at best. It was too soon, too hard, and for a dumbass like him, eternally too late. What’d he expect? That Bree was as impetuous as he was? Now, after he’d left her pregnant and alone? That she would ever want the same thing he wanted? How could he hope to make up for the time he’d lost with Bree and Robin? Did a warrior like him even deserve a family? Sure didn’t seem like it.
Bree swiped a tender fingertip under his leaky eye. “That little girl of ours has a crush on you, you know,” she breathed.
And there was her reply. By not answering his question, she’d still given him her answer. Bree was beguiling him with her body. Diverting the subject at hand. His heart sank like the bow of the Titanic. Straight down and back into utter darkness.
