Page 10 of Confession
“That you want to meet with Mickey.”
I snort at his accurate guess. “I should give you a raise.”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
That’s true. He barely spends his money, even though I pay him well.
“So what do you want?” I’m half teasing, half serious.
His eyes flick to me again. They linger for a second, and I glimpse something vulnerable in them. It tugs at me, bringing back the feeling I’ve been struggling with around him.
But he just lowers his eyes and answers, “Nothing.”
FIVE
Quinn
Neon Paradise is every bit as trashy as it sounds. Two stages jut out into the crowd, and men are snugged up to the edges like ships at a dock. There’s an 80’s vibe to the music as the sequined pole dancers pretend to enjoy their work.
Pink, green, and yellow lights shine selectively, highlighting the dancers and parts of the bar, leaving the rest dim so the men can lurk, greasy-haired and poorly dressed.
God, I hate places like this.
Most of the time, I don’t think about the past, certainly not as far back as all this shit, but the fuckingsmellof this place. It’s amusty, sweaty haze with pockets of cheap cologne. You walk into one and just fuckingchoke. It smells like my father.
Vitali’s eyes flick to me as we walk through the dimness to Mickey’s table. I’m having a really hard time with how much attention he’s paying to me. We spent the past two years in neutral. What the fuck is going on all of a sudden? It kind of pisses me off.
Ironic, I know—or hypocritical?—because I’ve sometimes fantasized about this. Vitali’s attention. His interest. But now that I have it, I just feel like,Stop fucking looking at me!I want to shove him.
The problem is I don’t know what todowith his attention. It’s not like I can enjoy it. I’m too afraid of what he might see. I’ve spent so long and I’ve worked so hard to make sure he sees nothing.
Basically, I’m confused, stressed the hell out, and illogically angry with him about it.
“Good?” Vitali asks.
How the hell can he tell that I’m not?
See, this is why I’m stressed. I’m very sure that I’m not showing anything, and yet he can see it. Why, when he never has before? Or has he always seen but is only just now, for whatever reason, choosing to speak?
Does he know that I’m in love with him? Is that why he’s been staring at me? I’m not imagining it. Working out today, he was definitely looking at me. With any other man, I would say he was checking me out. I mean, Ifor surecaught his eyes on my dick.
Butwhy? What the hell is going on? God, I hope I don’t do something stupid. I know exactly what my control is like. It’s there, it’s there, it’s there, and then it’s fuckingnot. Like when I started losing it sparring with Roman. I was completely fine, then I felt it, and I had seconds before I was gonna lose my shit.
I clear my throat. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Mickey, thin-faced and hunched, jumps a little when he sees us coming. You’d think someone frequently engaged in illegal activity would have a stronger nerve, but I guess he’s only ballsy behind the keyboard. He’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt and his long hair is pulled back in a low ponytail.
This is why we have to meet at a joint like this with low light, minimal scrutiny, and locational neutrality. The second Vitali takes a seat at Mickey’s table, it’s obvious that their business is illegal and that Mickey is the weak link for anyone who wants to pry.
Though Vitali is dressed down in black jeans and a leather jacket over his partially unbuttoned black shirt, he still looks rich and powerful. There’s no hiding that confidence.
“Mickey,” Vitali greets the hacker.
“Mr. Constantine.” Mickey fiddles with the stem of his glass, which holds a tropical-looking cocktail and a pink umbrella. “What can I do for you?”
Vitali’s fingers drum the faux wood table. “Someone seems to know too much about me.” Mickey’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “But I don’t know what they know, and I need to.”
I head to the bar so I can better scan the room, leaving them to discuss business. Months ago, Mickey got into the FBI system to poke around, but there weren’t any sensitive details related to Constantine business. Something could be in their system now, but it’s also possible that Special Agent Cohen is working off the books but using FBI resources. We need to know which is the case.
