Page 55 of Surfaces
Gorgono had clearly anticipated that sort of response and just grinned maliciously. “Yes, we wouldn’t want that. Particularly since I’ll be floating right next to your queen.”
I decided I needed to defuse the moment. “Well, I suppose if we’re going to go, at least our last moments will be together, Gorgono. That, at least, has to be some consolation for you. You’ll get a royal funeral out of it. Perhaps we should discuss colors. I always wanted a casket of green glass. But we should color coordinate. What were you planning for your coffin? I’ll be certain to let Sahar know so she can make arrangements.”
Gorgono stared at me a long moment, unable to determine if I was serious or joking. I quite enjoyed seeing him uncomfortable.
“Excuse me, Majesty. I believe my wife is summoning me. We’ll have to continue our funeral coordination later.”
“Not if you pass along the news of those rumors,” I retorted with a smile as I waved my fingers at him delicately while he swam off in a disgruntled manner, his shoulders bunched and tense.Oh, how I’d love to replace him,I thought.
But the inventors loved him here. He accepted them and their crazy creations even as he swindled them, but they—like Julian—were so desperate for acceptance that they didn’t care one whit. I couldn’t get rid of him. Yet, anyway.
I watched his retreat into the crowd for a moment before I huffed out a sigh of relief before turning to Felipe and Ugo and speaking in a low tone. “Is he right? Have there been threats?”
Ugo shook his head but Felipe remained silent, eyes darting around at those nearby.
When Felipe mouthed, “Later,” in my direction, I knew without a shred of doubt that therewererumors of another impending attack.
After the ball, when the moon was nearly ready to set in the sky, I made my way back to my rooms with my guards—one thought pounding through my mind.
What kind of attack are the rebels planning?
Leaving Ugo outside the door to keep watch, Felipe came into my bedroom, dragging the massive mess of my train, which had gathered endless amounts of sea sand in it on our swim back to our room. He dumped the speckled green mass in a coil on the marble floor before he turned to look at me.
“Well?” I asked softly.
“You promised me you’d discuss certain matters that have been bothering you,” he said gently, but not forcefully, because Felipe always treated me gently.
I cleared my throat, his statement not expected at all, not top of mind for me. “Um, actually, it’s something I’d kind of hoped to tell you and Mateo at the same time,” I hedged, uncertain if the combination of my inebriation, the late hour, and my anxiety over the rebel rumors were good circumstances for life-altering confessions.
“You look nervous, and I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just…I just want to be able to take care of you…” he trailed off, running a hand through his navy hair, which caused his armor to clink softly in the silence.
I stared at him, the man who saved me constantly. Who gave and gave and had only ever asked this one thing… Had he meant to say “take care of” instead of “protect”? Was that a slip of the tongue?
If so, was it a slip of the tongue that meant he cared or a slip of the tongue because he was tired? My mind spun in circles around me and until my emotions were dizzy with possibilities.
How I longed for him to mean it the way I wanted.
I wished for it like a child placing all their hopes on the brightest star.
He swam a tiny bit closer. “Avia…” he breathed, so softly that I might have just imagined it.
I found myself blinking rapidly, my lips parting, and then the words just spilled out of me in a rush. The secrets poured forth and I watched Felipe’s eyes grow wide when I mentioned my heart and why I’d been ill.
He sat down on one of my closed trunks when I spoke about Lizza’s spell. But he straightened up to his full height when I confessed to my violent delusions and my fear that I’d one day manifest them.
Saying everything was painful, hearing my own opinion of my weakness in the face of magic made me cringe because I didn’t want to be this weak and cowardly woman. I didn’t want to be an inadequate queen.
“I have no idea how to be both a powerful protector and a good queen—they seem mutually exclusive,” I finished, feeling as though I’d swam from Palati to Reef City—empty and drained—as my confession came to a close.
“That’s why you don’t use your power.” He made it a statement, not a question, as if he could read my mind and thoughts more clearly than I could.
I gave him a small nod, my chin dropping, my eyes dipping to his fin.
“Does Sahar know?”
I shook my head.
“And Mateo doesn’t either?”
