Page 83 of Knight's End
Connor—ever the diplomat—held me back. He pulled me into a hug as tears filled my eyes. “Come inside, Bloss Boss. We still have more to do.”
That phrase cracked me open. My fear and insecurity dripped out of the hard, little shell I’d tried to build around them. Isla was dead. Raj was gone—for now. But we still had a huge monster beneath the sea to fight. I still had a frozen castle. Provinces that were occupied or half-destroyed. Avia was still gone. There was still so much. So much. And Donaloo wouldn’t be here for it. I wouldn’t have that annoying, idiotic wizard skipping around and telling me nonsense that actually made sense. I wouldn’t have the comfort of knowing that my people would be protected, that someone far more powerful than me watched over them.
I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye.
My tears spilled over. My vision blurred and I had to swipe at my eyes numerous times.
Connor rushed me inside. Queens weren’t supposed to cry in public. They weren’t supposed to show emotion.
I’m the world’s worst queen, I thought.
But I couldn’t stop the tears that fell as we went through the decimated Great Hall, past soldiers limping and moaning in pain. I didn’t try to, because pretending that I wasn't hurting almost made my pain lessen. So much of my mother’s focus was on maintaining a façade that I felt sure that the pain itself started to fade. I wondered if that pretense of strength was the beginning of the end of emotions for monarchs. If they were always so focused on pretending not to feel, eventually, did their feelings just fade away?
I refused to be that monarch. I refused to pretend that idiot Donaloo meant nothing to me. I restrained myself from sobbing, but tears rained down my cheeks.
My knights took me to the rainbow salon, one that I’d always loved growing up. It had hundreds of crystal figurines in it and normally was a source of dancing rainbows.
Not this evening. This evening, the room looked like I felt. Everything inside it was shattered.
I took several deep breaths as Ryan used a blanket to swipe away some glass so we might have a path to the chairs and settees near the fireplace.
I yanked the other arm off my armor and asked Connor to help me out of the awful contraption. I’d tolerated the metal on my skin as long as I could.
Connor gently undressed me and took off his own shirt to toss it over me.
I started to shiver as the chill of night took over the castle.
That’s when I looked around at my knights. Ryan had limped over to the fireplace and was struggling not to bend his injured leg as he lit a fire. Blue stalked over to help him. Declan was still talking with the nobles—probably shouting, since they’d ask questions he’d consider stupid. Connor was still rubbing my back.
My blood ran cold.
The nightmare. I’d forgotten the nightmare.
I pulled away from Connor. “Where’s Quinn?”
