Page 71 of New Dreams for the Village Nurse
As they sat down to eat, surrounded by boxes and things in the wrong place, Ottilie was reminded all too forcibly of her own arrival in Thimblebury a year before, and turned the conversation to safer subjects. Simon had a passing acquaintance with some of the things that went on in the village and surrounding areas – the film club, for example – but his knowledge went no deeper than that. So Ottilie filled him in on the ones she knew about and how she was involved.
‘Wow,’ he said when she’d finished and looked down to see she’d finished her lunch too. ‘You never stop. How do you get time to do anything for yourself?’
‘I suppose it might sound a bit sad, but I think stuff like the community kitchen and the mum and baby group might count as my hobbies. I love doing them so it’s no hardship and I don’t feel as if they eat into my spare time at all. I’ve got a brilliant social life and a huge circle of friends from doing those things, so it’s win-win as far as I can tell.’
‘I never thought of it like that.’
‘Maybe you wouldn’t because your job is quite demanding as it is.’
‘I’m sure yours must be. Don’t you find it draining at times, constantly having to care even when you’re exhausted and you don’t feel like it? I know I do.’
‘I wouldn’t be human if that didn’t happen from time to time.’
‘And yet you still try to fit more in?’
Ottilie shrugged. ‘What can I say? I’m a people-pleaser – always have been. I’m far happier when I’m caring for others than doing things for myself. I’m sure there’s a good therapist out there who might have something to say about that, but I’m not sure I’d want to fix it, even if I thought it was a fault…which, sometimes I have to admit I do. But it’s a fault that I want to keep because I don’t think it’s a bad one.’
‘Me neither.’ Simon put his cutlery down and smiled at her. ‘And thank you for lunch – it was as good as I thought it would be. Far better than my crappy instant noodles.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘If the community kitchen’s meals are that good I might have to pretend I’ve got no money and turn up myself to get fed.’
‘Oh, it’s not only for people with no money. Anyone who wants a meal can come – we get all sorts with all sorts of reasons. People are lonely, they struggle physically, they might not have good cookery skills and they might be a bit broke that week. We don’t turn anyone away.’
‘Isn’t that open to abuse?’
‘I suppose it might be, but I like to think the people of this village are decent enough that they wouldn’t want to abuse a service like that. And generally it’s true – I’ve yet to serve someone who didn’t need it.’
Simon shook his head wonderingly. ‘I can see living here is going to take some getting used to.’
‘Wasn’t it like that in Botswana? You said it was a small community where you volunteered. Surely villages are essentially the same the world over? At least, I always imagined that to be the case. People are close, they know each other’s business, they look out for one another…’
‘I suppose it was a bit. But I never expected to find that in England. Especially being from a big city.’
‘Pockets of cities can be like that too – you just need to know where to look.’
‘Ah, that’s clearly where I’ve been going wrong then. Perhaps I never looked hard enough.’
‘You know…’ Ottilie paused. ‘Actually, I’m sure you’re going to be too busy…’
‘You were going to ask if I wanted to come and see what you do at one of your projects?’
‘I only thought it might be a good way to get to know some of the villagers. I didn’t think about how busy you’d be doing other things until I’d started to say it.’
‘I am, but I think I’d like to. Maybe when I’m settled in here I’ll pop down to the kitchen. Might even get involved – I have been known to make a decent chilli con carne in my time.’
Ottilie broke into a smile as she poured a glass of water. ‘They’d love that!’
Ottilie would love it too, and she hoped he truly meant it. To have a newcomer like her fall in love with Thimblebury as she’d done, especially knowing its power to heal someone who’d feltloss as keenly and unexpectedly as she’d done, would make her happier than any treat she could buy or luxury break she was spoiled with. It was true what she’d told Simon – often she’d felt her innate and overwhelming desire to see others happy was as much of a burden as it was a blessing, but it was who she was, and at the end of the day, she couldn’t be anything other than that.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Ottilie had enjoyed her morning helping Simon more than she could ever have anticipated, and she felt as if she knew him so much better than she had before. She left his house full of hope for a brilliant working relationship, one that might see them both to their retirements, one that was fulfilling, one that helped many people and one that might eventually help Simon himself too. She’d seen only too clearly a man still struggling, bravely battling his grief and the demons that came with it – she saw it because she’d lived it and had only recently begun to let go. That period of her own life was still fresh and recent enough that the memories were visceral: the way she’d felt, the hopeless emptiness of each day, the desperate need to fill the hours with anything that would stop her dwelling on the past she’d longed for and a future that was lost.
Back at Wordsworth Cottage there had been time for a shower, a change of clothes and a layer of make-up ready for Heath’s arrival. They’d planned a quiet night – some food, wine and maybe a film. Heath had wanted to do something fancier, but Ottilie was glad now she’d resisted his suggestions. She was perfectly content to keep it low-key, and she was beginningto feel they were at the point of their relationship where they didn’t have to always be on, where they could be relaxed in each other’s company and not always feel as if they had to be trying to impress. At least that was the way she saw it, and she hoped Heath was beginning to feel the same way.
He arrived bang on time with a smile, flowers and a bottle of wine, and a warm kiss that left her as breathless as the first one they’d shared. Every kiss made her feel that way, and while she hoped for that familiarity in the way they enjoyed each other’s company, she also hoped the thrill of his kisses would never lessen.
