Page 56 of Petals and Strings
“Don’t stop on my account,” Ledger said. “I just didn’t see you at all tonight and wanted to make sure everything was alright.”
“Sorry, a bit in my head today,” I offered, feeling bad that I’d ghosted him for our usual walk. I’d come back from showering so late that I’d nearly missed dinner. They were already done when I got there.
“Word on the street is that they’ve found a replacement for Theo finally. Someone Director Cross found and vetted. The staff has all been talking about how strict he’s been lately, too.”
“Good,” I said, not feeling an ounce of remorse. “I told him this place was a joke. People shouldn’t ask things they don’t want answers to.”
I just hoped none of the staff took it out on me. The last visit with Dr. Malik had been tense, but he dismissed me with no real questions, just my vitals.
At least he left my meds alone this time.
Group therapy had been even more quiet with Eleanor, another one of the therapists, here. She was busy, though, and taking on far too much.
“Maybe they will actually give a fuck about us,” I said, letting the hope of it fill the air, even if neither of us was naïve to give it much weight.
“I knew you’d be good for this place, wildling. I just hope it’s good for you in return.”
“Has it ever been for you?” He looked at me for a moment, expression unreadable. Then his shoulders relaxed just a little.
“In some ways. I think the fact I shouldn’t really be here is part of it. It keeps me motivated to get out,” he admitted, glancing away as if he couldn’t bear to see my reaction.
“If you want to talk about it, I can listen,” I offered. My eyes shifted around the conservatory, noting that it was quiet now, leaving just us two.
“My family is unsavory. It meant I grew up with crippling expectations and had the empathy beat out of me,” he said, his voice a distant, haunting rumble.
I shifted, my leg pressing against his in a sign of solidarity, telling him I was there without making it weird.
“The things they forced me to do, the alpha they shaped me to be… it wasn’t pretty, wildling. My family name holds immense weight. It’s the reason I get more leverage here, why people are distant.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Ledger,” I told him honestly. “I’ve met monsters… a lot of them. The only thing I fear is in my past.”
His eyes dropped down to my scars. Until now, he could only see the ones gliding up my neck, the slashes of knives and fingernails that were deep enough to make me bleed, dirty enough to not heal properly.
I pulled the collar down further, showing him the horror hidden underneath. It felt like a necessary hurdle, something Iwantedhim to see.
Ledger had my trust. I knew what he tried to make me admit before… that we were scent matches, not just compatible.
The alpha leaned in, his finger hovering over each and every mark that mottled my skin. He smelled incredible. Though, I think anything would have been better than the noxious fumes of the alphas I’d known most of my adult life.
“Fuck, wildling. I knew you were strong… but this.”
His eyes were full of amazement. He didn’t recoil from the marred skin, he was amazed by it.
“It feels wrong to say, but I never want to bond again. I’m just glad this place brought me out of whatever mania these put me in.”
His fingers reached out, gently teasing over the dormant marks. The alphas had long ago cut ties so I no longer felt any pull to them or reaction from the touch, only the shudder of his soft touch over my ridged skin.
When he sat back, the weight of our collective trauma had him sagging slightly. He ran a hand over his short hair in a move to calm himself.
“My family is into crime. Mafia. We can just call it what it is,” he huffed out a laugh. “Drugs, guns, anything illegal. They didn’t always draw the line at people. Their own son included. I was sent off to form an alliance, another pawn for my father to use.”
“That’s disgusting,” I growled. A protective wave hit me and I reached out, gripping his arm as he spoke again. Even though I’d been through awful things of my own, I wanted to save him from any of his.
It was a strange connection I didn’t expect to find in his friendship. Mates seemed even more far fetched.
His hand rested on mine, those vivid, electric-blue eyes of his sliding closed, eyelashes fanning over his cheek as he finished.
“They arranged a marriage. The omega seemed intelligent and nice enough. It wasn’t love at first sight or even scent compatibility. Honestly, she smelled like perfume and it wasn’t pleasant.”
