Page 5 of Petals and Strings
The orderlies deposited me on a chair in our hall. Leaving me with the silence of an empty room and my sluggish thoughts.
My fingers shook as I ran them over my wrist. The fading ridges of my old mate mark were still there, reminding me that I didn’t just fail them once, I failed them twice.
I should be with my family.
Tears ran silently down my cheeks as I closed my eyes, desperate to find them in my mind, but the drugs made it impossible.
I was too numb to fight. To scream. To move.
It was such a strange feeling to cry and know the phantom pain, but not able to truly feel it anymore. I would never get used to it.
Time passed slowly. The steady crawl of minutes into hours. The sun falling steadily and casting the common area in shadows.
“Did they get you again?” Ledger asked on a sigh as he walked in. I blinked up at the alpha as he ran a hand over his buzzed, silver hair, eyes full of frustration on my behalf. “It’s time to eat.”
He helped me up, keeping me steady as I swayed. His scent was strong, dominant. It grounded me in the moment and helped tear away the final dregs of the sedatives. Bourbon, vanilla, leather, pine. It always reminded me of safety and friendship. That I wasn’t completely alone here.
“Come on.” He didn’t walk until I was steady. He always helped, but I didn’t expect him to. We were not supposed to be friends or allies, simply ghosts occupying the same space.
Our own bodies and minds at war with us. Yet, he rarely showed his own pain.
If only I could be that strong.
“Keep going,” he urged, our steps steady and slow as we trudged down the main hall while others passed us.
The dining hall was busy when we finally stumbled in. Theo greeted me at the door, eyeing Ledger’s arm around me with annoyance.
“I worried you wouldn’t make it. I’m sorry about the new patient triggering you,” he said with enough kindness to make me blink over at him. It was out of place for him. “They’ll wear off soon. Let me get you a plate.”
He took me from Ledger and guided me to a table, making sure I sat before disappearing. To the outside eye he would look like a good therapist. I didn’t trust it any more than I trusted him.
When my tray was placed in front of me I didn’t bother to look at what I was putting in my mouth, tasting nothing but sand as I chewed and swallowed like a good little puppet.
Docile.
Quiet.
Unbroken.
Chapter Three
Ansel
Movement next door had me sitting up and holding my breath, listening to the scraping of furniture and melding of voices.
Two male nurses sat outside in the common area when I peeked out, as if they were standing guard.
They were filling the empty room.
Oh god. Not another angry alpha.
My breath caught in my lungs, my pulse thundering through my veins as if even it was trying to escape this hell.
I’d already ended up in a unit with three alphas. The only solace was that they treated me like I was invisible and there was a beta to round it out. Their eyes skipped over me and their voices didn’t bark orders that I had no choice to follow.
They were fixtures in this ward. Tolerated but not trusted.
I’d never trust an alpha.
