Page 61 of Nico
"She's not answering." Nico felt as if his chest was caving in.
They had brought home a very distressed and crying Gracie, who had finally realized what she had done and put her to bed. It had taken them some time to get her to settle down, especially when they told her they did not know where Sadie was.
"I want Sadie!" She had wailed and refused to listen to her nanny who was trying to get her ready for bed.
When Nico tried to get her to eat something, she had shoved the plate off the highchair and made a mess on the floor. Nico's temper had snapped and for the first time, he spanked her on her bottom, sending the child wailing and running to her aunt.
Shoving the phone in his pocket, he paced over to the window to gaze out at the encroaching darkness. They had been back for two hours now and still no word from Sadie.
"You were hard on her."
Linda put away her wineglass and squared her shoulders. James was away at the club for the weekend, and she had just stopped herself from calling him.
"I had a right to be."
Nico whirled to face her. "That's where you're wrong. You had no right to jump on her like that. We all could see how shaken up she was and to accuse her on top of it was simply heartless."
"Gracie tends to wander away and we were talking about getting a leash. You and some of the ladies at the tea party had to go looking for her the other day and when Nadine took her out for ice cream at the park, she followed a kitten to the water fountain."
"Something bad might have happened to her." Linda had the grace to feel guilty, but when she heard her granddaughter was missing, the fear had felt like a giant boulder inside her chest. She had spoken without thinking and who could blame her?
"But it didn't." His mouth was tight.
Taking out the phone, he tried her again, feeling the fear coursing through him when it went straight to voicemail. "Dammit Sadie. Please call me back. I'm worried sick. Baby, I don't blame you for what happened, just call me and let me know you're all right."
He hung up. Deciding, he grabbed his coat and put it on.
"I'm going to swing by her place to see if she's home. If she isn't, I'm damn well going to camp out there until she gets there."
"Tell her--" Linda followed him out to the foyer.
"Tell her what?" His hand was already on the doorknob.
"Just tell her I'm sorry."
With a curt nod, he was already out the door and heading towards his vehicle.
The drive was a blur to Sadie. Night had fallen quickly, the headlights of passing cars streaking like smears of light through her tears. Her hands trembled as she gripped the steering wheel, breath coming in uneven bursts.
She pulled off the main road, seeking the solitude of a quiet overlook she used to visit in college. The kind of place people went when they needed to think, or just be alone with their mistakes.
Turning off the engine, the silence pressed in. The world outside was still, the only sound her choked sobs as guilt gnawed at her. She replayed the afternoon's events in her mind, the way Gracie had slipped away and how quickly everything had spiraled.
Sadie drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around herself as she let the tears come, raw and honest. Her phone buzzed again in the cupholder. She glanced down, seeing Nico's name illuminate the cracked screen.
For a moment, her thumb hovered over the answer button. She couldn't face him yet, not with the weight of Linda's words still echoing in her ears, not with the memory of Gracie's cries.
Swallowing back a fresh sob, Sadie let the phone ring out, pressing her forehead to the steering wheel. In the darkness, she whispered, "I'm so sorry," as if the words might reach Gracie, and Nico, and Linda. Might somehow make things right again.
But the only reply was the wind rattling through the half-open window, and the ache in her chest that refused to ease.
*****
She was a physical and emotional wreck when she finally pulled into her neighborhood. She had contemplated just simply checking into a hotel but had decided against it.
During the long tear-filled night, she had come to a decision, one that was so difficult, she felt her heart palpitating. She was goingto give Nico back his ring and call off the wedding. She had failed him and that little girl.
One lousy day, she had been required to take care of her and to think he had suggested asking Nadine to accompany them and she had told him no. When she thought of what could have happened to Gracie, she broke out in cold sweat. It could have been so much worse.
