Page 132 of Slew Foot
Gavin nodded. “It’s certainly not what any of us wanted to see but it’s not unusual for off-ice situations to impact how guys are playing. New boyfriends feuding with guys’ exes isn’t something we’ve seen before, as far as I’m aware, but the league is changing so I have no doubt we’ll see something like it again.”
“You think so?” Rafe asked. That made him feel a little better about it, actually.
“I do. I’ll never be anything but wholeheartedly supportive of guys being free to come out and date within an organization—so long as there’s not a serious power imbalance there, anyway—but that doesn’t mean there won’t be a few bumps along the way.”
“True.”
“That being said, these issues may sometimesseemto be resolved but have some lingering impacts. How is Mickey doing?”
Rafe hesitated. “Isn’t Dr. Pope keeping you updated? And wait, didn’t youjustmeet with Mickey today?”
“Bradley is,” Gavin said. “And I did. If you don’t want to talk about this with me, that’s perfectly fine. I respect that. I get the feeling he’s struggling though, and I want to figure out how to help him navigate this.”
“Honestly,” Rafe said, frowning at his grilled zucchini and summer squash. “I’m worried about him too.”
Gavin frowned too. “Well, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“Thanks,” Rafe said. “That’s nice of you.”
“That’s my job,” Gavin reminded him, but he shot Rafe a small, warm smile. “Plus, I care about you guys. I mean it. I know a lot of GMs prefer to keep more of a distance from their players but that’s not me. That’s not how I run my teams. Only time will tell if it actually works”—he let out a soft laugh—“if we can be a Cup-winning team with this style. But it’s the only way I know how to do this. You’remorethan an asset to me, Rafe, every one of you is. I have to keep the bottom line in the back of my mind at all times, but that doesn’t mean I can’t treat you like human beings, who have real lives outside of hockey. Who have private struggles. And I can be a listening ear if you ever need it.”
Rafe nodded, his mouth too full of food to answer aloud. He needed a minute to think anyway. He’d wanted someone to talk to, butdude, this was his GM. He sure as fuck would never have had this conversation with Asa Jackson.
Asa had also made it pretty obvious that although he’dtoleratedRafe and Logan dating, he hadn’t been happy about it. It had pretty much been an “I told you so” when Rafe had been unhappy staying in Minnesota after their breakup.
He’d definitely been a “my players are an asset, not a human” kinda guy.
But this wasn’t Minnesota and Gavinwasn’tAsa. Gavin was a gay mananddating someone in the organization. He got what Rafe was going through in a way Asa never would.
“Um,” Rafe said. “Honestly, I’ve been wanting someone to talk to about this, but uh, it might … it’s a little weird, you know? Because some of it is pretty personal. Like, in the bedroom stuff, you know?”
“Well,” Gavin said with a thoughtful frown. “Tell me whatever you feel comfortable sharing. Anything you have to say will stay in this room.”
So between bites of lunch, Rafe told him Mickey seemed a little depressed and like he wasn’t himself. And how it was making it difficult for them to have sex.
Gavin nodded. “It’s tough. As a former player, I know concussions are difficult, and as a gay man who had a recent health scare, I know it can take a toll on the relationship. The whole situation sucks for both of you.”
“It does suck,” Rafe said. “And, like, I think a big part of it is because—because of the way we are in the bedroom, you know? He uh, well, let’s just say in there he acts a lot like he does when we’re on the ice if you get what I mean.”
Rafe’s cheeks felt warm by the time he was done but Gavin didn’t exactly look shocked.
“Yes, I can see why that makes it difficult and why that might make it hard on both of you.”
“It—it’s so frustrating,” Rafe said with a sigh, toying with his fork. “Because Mickey’s feeling useless and I don’t know howtohelp. I’m worried he’s going to keep pushing me away, you know?”
“Well,” Gavin said after he’d finished a bite of food. “I understand why you’re worried.”
Rafe gulped. Well,thatdidn’t sound good. He whispered, “Do you think he’s going to break up with me?”
“No, no. I’m not suggesting that,” Gavin said quickly.
“Good.” Rafe let out a relieved sigh.
“Earlier, I did recommend he speak to the sports psychologist we have on staff and consider reaching out to someone at the initiative Felix Hale started—I’m blanking on the name of it at the moment—but you know the one I mean, right?”
Rafe nodded. Felix Hale was a player for Toronto who’d dealt with substance abuse issues. After rehab, he’d started a whole thing on mental health encouraging guys to speak up when they were struggling.
He was also dating his D-partner, Jonah Brewer, so that was kinda neat.
