Page 67 of Crush
“Oh, Chloe.”
“But then, one day at school, I saw Carly and she was so excited she couldn't stop jumping up and down. She told me thatmymom likedherdad, and that meant we were going to be sisters someday soon.”
My jaw dropped.
“And I might not have totally understood what that meant, but on some level, Iknewit wasn't right. I liked Carly a lot—but I didn't want her to be my sister, becausewhat about my dad?I loved my dad, I didn't want him to stop being my dad. And I didn't want Buddy to be my dad, either.”
“So … what happened?”
“As soon as I got home from school, I told Dad what Carly told me. And then the fights started. They yelled and screamed at each other for days. It was awful. And then Mom moved out of the house, Dad hired our first nanny, and that was it. They got a divorce.”
“Oh, Chloe. So did your mom and Buddy date after that?”
She tutted. “No. After I told Dad, Dad must've told the team, because Buddy suddenly got traded to Calgary. So my parents got divorced and, on top of it, my best friend moved away. And my mom was pissed at me because I 'betrayed' her 'trust.' She still brings it up today.”
I stood, walked around the table, wrapped my arms around Chloe and squeezed her for what must have been minutes without knowing what to say.
“I'm so sorry, Chloe,” I said at last. “I totally understand why you'd feel guilty, but that isnotyour fault. It sounds like your mom and dad had serious problems. Once those problems reachedyou, their relationship hit a breaking point.”
“But I never wanted to break them up.” Her voice started wavering as she began to cry. “I wanted them to stay together!”
I hugged her tighter. “You're a sweet girl, Chloe. You did the right thing. There was nothing else you could do. It's not your fault.”
“Yeh …” She wiped her tears away and looked at me. “Did my dad talk to you about that photo?”
“Yes, last night.”
She frowned. “I'm so sorry I told him. I don't know what came over me. I thought he knew, and he was telling me everything thatyoutold him, and—”
I put her head against my chest and soothed her.“It's okay, Chloe. I'm not mad. It's better to have the truth out there.”
“What did he say when you told him?”
I chuckled. “He wondered why I hadn't told him earlier.”
“And what did you say?”
“That I didn't think it mattered. Because I'm not here as a thirteen-year-old girl with a stupid crush on a hockey player. I'm here to do my job—to be a nanny.”
She deflated in my arms. “Yeh …”
I kissed her on top of her head. “I know you want your dad to be happy, Chloe. He'll find someone someday. He'll have a lot of time to date around once he's retired. And that's coming up realsoon, too.”
“But I don'twanthim to date around. I want him to date y—”
“Shh. I know. But it just can't be like that, Chloe.”
***
Our emotional bloodletting seemed to take a tremendous weight off of Chloe's shoulders. After our talk, she took a shower and got dressed. Her friends came over, including her crush, Adam, and the group went to the mall together. It was nice to see her smile again, and talk and laugh with her friends.
I wished I could say our talk revivified my spirits as well—but I felt worn down instead. It was exhausting to lie. To pretend with a straight face that Shea and Ididn'thave a thing for each other. To act as though Iwas merely his employee and nothing more, and nothing ever made me so happy than that.
Whereas Chloe could tell the truth and feel a million pounds lighter, I had to lie for her sake. Because telling her the truth would only screw with her head. So instead, I had to screw with my own head. But maybe that was the burden of being an adult.
Sigh.
Rather than sit around an empty mansion moping about how confusing my life was, I put myself to work.
