Page 66 of Crush
“Oh. So in other words, you want to send me to therapy, too.”
“I've never given it any thought, Chloe. I understand it could be a scary thought for you, but I really don't think therapy could hurt. It can only help to have someone to talk to about what's on your mind.”
“So wait, is it good or bad to talk to people? I can't keep it straight anymore. Because I talked toyou,didn't I? I told you that I thought you and my dad have a thing for each other. And then I got in trouble, because you told my dad. Which is super messed up, because all I'm doing is telling thetruth,andyoutwo are the ones who can't stop lying, either to me or yourselves.”
I took a deep breath, turning her words over in my head.Hate to say it, but she kinda has a point. What's worse, I can't even tell her that she's right.
“First of all, Chloe, you're not in trouble. Second, I told your dad because I was worried. Your dad and I, we can'tbetogether—”
“Why not?” she interjected before I could finish my thought.
“Because,” I sputtered. “Because I'm just your nanny.”
“But if you and my dad liked each other, you could stop being my nanny and maybe be my step-mom or something.”
My heart shattered. I reached over the table and held her hand. “Chloe, that's very sweet of you, but you're getting too invested in this idea of your dad and I being something we're not. That's why I was worried, and that's why I told your dad. Maybe he's right. Maybe itwouldbe a good idea for you to talk to someone about this.”
“Great. I knew it. Youdowant to send me to therapy.” She rolled her eyes. “All I want is for everyone to be happy. I guess that's what makes me so fucked up in the head, huh?”
I squeezed her hand. “Can I ask you something?”
“Might as well. Everyone wants me to talk about all my problems, right?”
“Yesterday, you said something about how, if your dad and I got together, it'd make up for something you did to him.”
Chloe gulped loudly and nodded. “Yeh.”
“What did you mean by that?”
“The divorce,” she quietly sputtered.
“What about the divorce?”
“It was all my fault.”
I shook my head. “I don't know much about your mom and dad's relationship, but I seriously doubt that.”
“It's true. You know how I know?”
I shook my head. “No. Tell me.”
“It's kind of a long story.”
“That's fine with me. I don't have anything else to do.”
“Okay. So, one of Dad's teammates—his name was Ben Parker, but everyone called him Buddy—had a daughter, Carly. She's the same age as me. We were six when we first met. We also went to the same school, so she became my first real best friend.”
“Okay …”
“Now, Carly's parents were split up, and they shared custody of her. So, at games, Carly and her nanny would sit with me and my mom, and we'd watch our dads play hockey. It was great, 'cause I always got to see Carly—since our dads were teammates, they obviously got along and had a lot to talk about. Carly and Buddy would come over for dinner at our house, or we'd be at their house, almost every other night.”
“Uh huh.”
“But one year, Buddy had some bad injury problems and he missed most of the season. So he wasn't traveling with the team for months. So, while my dad was out on the road, Mom would take me and the twins over to the Parkers' house and we'd all watch the game. My mom and Buddy really got along, too. Carly and I would play together, and the twins would tag along with us—and Mom and Buddy would hang out with each other.”
I was starting to see where this was going.
“I never thought anything about it. Okay, I might have thought it was a little strange, because Carly and I would be playing together, and then my mom and Buddy just sort of disappeared together, and we were left all alone and had to watch over the twins. Which yeah, was sort of weird, because normally adults were always somewhere nearby to make sure we didn't get into any trouble. But we were only six or seven; what did we know? You never think that your parents could be up to anything bad.”
