Page 92 of Wants and Needs
“I’m aware,” he says, sounding annoyingly calm.
“I think I’m losing my mind,” I whisper. “I’m pretty sure I got a dog yesterday, and I battled all day to keep my shit together. Then when I came home alone it didn’t help. Music helped a little, but all I could think about was you. All I wanted was to lock myself in my bedroom, close the blinds until it was completely dark, and have loud music blaring through the apartment, then never come out again. But that didn’t help either.”
“Okay,” Carter starts, and then looks around the apartment. “We’ll get to the thing about the dog later, but first just answer this. Can I be in that dark room with you?”
“What?” That seems preposterous.
“Would you still be able to find what you need in that room if I was in there with you?”
I take a long moment to think about it.
In the past there have been moments when I’ve needed that escape, and I’ve never wanted anyone else in there with me. But when I imagine it now, and Carter there with me, it doesn’t feel... bad.
So I nod.
“We can try and if it doesn’t work, no worries. I’ll just leave the room to you and be out here in case you need anything, all right?”
“That sounds awful.” I speak quickly. “You’d be out here doing nothing?”
“Well, no. I can entertain myself. It’s not your job to make sure I’m not bored.”
“And it shouldn’t be your job to babysit me,” I cry out.
“This isn’t babysitting, Liam.” The long breath he lets out sounds tired.
“Then what is it?” I demand.
“This is me taking care of you when you’re having a rough time. From what I’ve learned about you, you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself and so am I. But we all need a bit more help once in a while. I’m sure that if someday I go through something as disappointing as what happened yesterday,you’ll be there to comfort me as well, right? This isn’t an everyday occurrence, and it’s not going to define how our entire relationship dynamic is. It’s just these three or four days.”
“And you’d really be okay with that?” I challenge.
“I promise I am.” I can’t find any indicators that he’s annoyed. Is it possible? Or is he just acting this way to accomodate me?
“What if it happens again in a few months?”
“Then I’m sure I’ll still want to comfort you.”
He does sound sure, but I just don’t understand how he could be. This is bound to be a pain in the ass for him.
“All right, we can try,” I murmur.
“Thank you,” he whispers, then seems to brighten. His hands come up to cup my cheeks and he kisses me softly. It’s not a suggestive kind of kiss in any way, more like... comfort. Exactly as he said.
“I don’t know how to fix any of the issues with your business, Liam,” he murmurs. “And I’m sorry you feel like your world is crashing down. All I can do is be next to you while you get through this, because youwillget through this.”
“How?” I demand, desperately hoping he might have the answer.
“By realizing you’re not alone. Not all of the weight is on you. You can share it with everyone who cares about you. And who knows...” He shrugs as he drops his hands and grips my shoulders, caressing them over my shirt. “Maybe the dog will help.”
I can’t stop the helpless snort that leaves me, and I have to shake my head at myself. I can’t say I regret asking Jimmy ifhe’d consider letting me adopt one of Sassy’s pups, but it was really so out of character for me. I have no idea what I was thinking.
“Thank you for being here,” I whisper.
“You can assume from now on that when you need me, I’ll be here, okay?” I nod in answer and kiss him too. Just quickly, because as our lips part we both reach for a hug at the same time, so when he speaks again, I hear his perfect voice right by my ear. “Great. Now, do you want to take the cinnamon rolls in with us, and maybe another coffee, or should we leave them out here?”
“Let’s take everything in,” I tell him, my face buried against the soft skin of his neck.
But neither one of us moves away for a few minutes, and I enjoy every second that I get to feel him against me like a steady wall I can count on.
