Page 68 of Wants and Needs
“You two are the smartest men I know, and I’m grateful every day that you agreed to help with ESoothe. Being your friend is an honor,” I admit.
It’s overly sentimental, I know, but the moment calls for it, and since they’re as bad at emoting as me, they freeze as well.
I give them time, just like they gave me, and we sit in silence for a few minutes.
In those few minutes, I decide that if we’re going to befriends, we might need to organize some time for friendship rituals.
“That was very nice,” Parker says eventually.
William clears his throat a couple of times and nods. “It was.”
“It’s the truth,” I tell them simply. “And I think maybe we could start to take part in one or two rituals that friendships are associated with.”
That gets their attention. Parker even raises his eyebrows. William leans forward and rests his elbow on the table and puts his chin on his fist.
“Like what?” he asks eagerly.
“We could engage in sharing personal information and the consequential communal tradition of resourceful solution-sharing in hopes of positive results.” Parker barely moves his mouth as he speaks.
We all think quietly for a moment and then William draws the logical conclusion. “Do you mean give advice?”
“Yes,” Parker says with a single pointed nod.
“I hardly think we’re qualified, but we can give it a go. We should start with Liam, then.” William turns to me and sits back, looking serious once more. “You should explain what happened.”
“All right,” I murmur and shift on my seat, trying to get comfortable. “As I said before, last night I talked to a possible investor and I haven’t heard back from her. She seemed happy and agreeable when we parted ways. The other thing is...” I hedge, not knowing how much detail to give them, but then I decide on full disclosure. “I met Carter about a month ago. Since then we’ve seeneach other quite a lot in different situations. The one that triggered the most action was when we were having dinner after my sister left me alone with him where he works, and my ex-boyfriend saw us.”
“That piece of shit from Boston?” William demands hotly.
“He’s not a good person at all,” Parker states.
“He’s not,” I agree. “In any case, that started this chain reaction where Carter became aggravated by Dirk...”
I take them through the story step by step, and they don’t interrupt again. Sadly they don’t talk at all when I finish.
“I kissed him since I believed the attraction I was feeling was reciprocated because of his behavior, but it turns out he’s just a really good actor. So now I feel like I’ll just never be able to be in the same room as him.”
They’re clearly thinking about the situation, so again, I give them time to do so.
“So he didn’t push you away,” William states, once more leaning forward.
“He didn’t,” I confirm. “He stepped back.”
“Can we see what he texted you?” Parker asks. “Maybe that will give us more insight.”
I have the texts memorized by now, but I take my phone out anyway and show them.
Carter
I’m sorry for the way I reacted tonight. My intention has never been to lead you on or embarrass you. I also realize I never expressed to you that I’m straight and I apologize for that as well.
It’s unfair that only queer people have to announce their sexuality when they meet new people, isn’t it?
In any case, I still want to be your friend, Liam. If you’ll have me that is.
I will take a few days to think about everything that happened tonight and how I feel more carefully, and I hope you do the same without shame or guilt because you shouldn’t feel any of those.
But I do want to keep having you in my life.
