Page 99 of Wild Hit
Everything.
I can’t believe he was walking around in this planet with all that goodness in him, and I never caught a glimpse until I was broken and jaded. And now I don’t know what to do, if run, hide, cling, or beg. I don’t know if I can burden him withme. He deserves better.
And then I’m sobbing, and his arms and his warmth and his scent are all around me, his strength keeping me upright, his breath fanning over my head, his heart beating fast against my face, tucked into his chest. “Hey, Audrey. Tell me what’s wrong, please. I’m freaking out here.”
I squeeze handfuls of his purple Orlando Wild T-shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He sighs as if relieved.
“Shh.” One of his hands rubs my spine softly, up and down. “It wasn’t your fault. You two were just having fun in a homemade rollercoaster.”
“Itwasmy fault. I am the adult.” I struggle to push him away, not because he won’t allow it, but because my own muscles fail me. I force myself to meet his eyes. “If I was you, I’d toss me out and end this whole thing at once.”
“Luckily, I’m not you, huh?” The corners of his lips rise a little. “I know that we all make mistakes but wearen’tour mistakes. And I also know that this didn’t happen on purpose and that you’re really,reallysorry about it.”
“But—”
“And,” he cuts me off and chuckles a little as he continues. “I also know that feeling yucky is all the punishment you two deserve.”
I drop my head. Right on his chest. He strokes the back of my head, which feels amazing physically but adds to my guilt. “But all I do is cause you trouble, Miguel. You shouldn’t keep putting up with me.”
“That’s not true.” Then he holds my head gingerly, lifting my face from his chest—and presses his lips on my forehead. Intentionally. Patiently. Unashamedly. When he pulls back, those same lips are smiling. “You only bring joy to Marty’s and my life, you know? Somehow, you’ve made me realize that I can’t control what happens to my family, but I sure can do my best to protect it.” He glances up as if in thought. “My anxiety has got a lot better since I met you, actually.”
My teeth make a clacking sound as I snap my mouth shut.
Miguel takes a step back and slides his hands into the pockets of his joggers. Clearing his throat, he says, “Anyway, I’ll go check up on Marty and then clean your bathroom. So, uh, take your time. Holla if you need me.”
“Okay,” I reply with a thread of voice, watching him rush away.
My knees buckle and I prop myself up on the vanity, my heart racing like a horse. I raise my hand to touch the hot spot where his lips branded my skin. “What… what just happened?”
What he said just now, why did it make me want to cry even harder?
CHAPTER 36
MIGUEL
Acouple of peaceful weeks have passed after the colorful and chaotic first night of Audrey living with us, and since the last time Henry Big Asshole Vos reared his entitled head. Part of it is because I’m suing him, and the other part is because allegedly he’s been on a business trip. Who the hell knows if that’s true—after all, I’m not gonna hire someone to follow him back like a stinking creep.
Or at least, that’s how the passage of this time seems to have developed for my kid and Audrey. They’re pleased as punch in each other’s company, working side by side, or playing in a more civilized way—such as baking cookies together with Consuelo—or watching movies together. They both pretty much ignore me every time I’m home.
It’s great. Pure bliss.
Not.
I amdyinginside. This is how dogs must feel like when their humans aren’t paying attention to them. Thankfully I don’t have a tail to wag, and I somehow manage to keep my tongue inside my mouth.
Sometimes I forget that this is only a convenient arrangement and nearly make a fool of myself. For example, afew mornings ago before flying out for an away series, I was mixing a protein shake to chug on the way when Audrey joined me in silence, brewed a pot of coffee, and poured two mugs—one for herself and one for me—still without saying a word. As if we’d done this exact routine every morning for the past five years or something.
The sheer domesticity of it speared me through the gut with visceral hunger, and not the stomach kind. I had to casually go up to my room on the pretense that I needed to find something.
And yeah, it was my logical brain. Because I was a raging torch for a woman who is just my friend, and is under my protection, and has minus ten interest in more. The only way I could calm the hell down was with upside down pull ups. Just to really punish myself. And also to get the blood flow going to my brain.
You’d say,Miguel, you know your place, dude. Why do you keep punishing yourself?
Because I can’t help it. Because my damn cells vibrate when she’s nearby. Because I’m in awe of her and I know I can be her rock. Because I’m in love, damn it.
So here I am, on the field for theSPORTYcommercial shoot, wishing she’d just look my way once. It doesn’t matter that everyone else has their attention on me—including my rowdy teammates—Audrey just keeps her focus on the director and the crew. I know it’s her job, and I’ll never interfere with it, but I feel like a teenager trying to catch the attention of his crush without having the cojones to verbally ask for it.
