Page 135 of Tangled Hearts
Rock took her hand, placing it on the crotch of his pants. “With that tone that makes my dick do this… say my name. Watch this,” he coached, dimples cratering his cheeks from the big smile he couldn’t wipe off.
Shakeisha played along. With her hand on his dick, she said, “thank you for taking me out, Rodrick.”
On cue, his dick jumped and she cackled.
This was the side of Rock she’d been missing. Back in the day, people thought she was nothing to him but she knew it was more than that. The way they would laugh together was what made her fall in love with him. Rock would even open up to her sometimes giving her just enough for his body to feel relief from holding one less thing.
The drive was quiet at first.
Old school R&B hummed through the speakers, giving Rock time to collect his thoughts. He pulled up to a rooftop restaurant. One with city lights stretching out for miles and candles flickering on every table.
Shakeisha glanced around, impressed but trying not to show it.
Rock could see the excitement on her face. He didn’t call her out though. They pulled up to the front of the building, stopping at valet. “I got her door,” Rock called out when one of the attendants went to open Shakeisha’s door.
She giggled, loving this side of Rock.
Inside, she held her head high, the butterflies in her stomach working against her. Fire ants crawled across her skin the way they always did when she was fighting not to feel too much. He had hurt her before, made her question her worth, and now he was showing her the man she always wanted him to be. It was tempting—dangerously tempting.
But the truth sat in her chest.
Love wasn’t about waiting for somebody to wake up one day and treat you right. Love was about knowing you deserved it from the start, holding out until you got it. She could enjoy this moment, let herself laugh, even let the butterflies run wild, but she refused to forget the lesson.
Every woman had to decide one day if she was gonna be somebody’s second chance or her own first choice.
Shakeisha didn’t know where she fell with Rock but she was willing to give him a slither of a chance.
“You brought mehere?” she asked, taking in the soft glow and the sound of live instruments floating through the air.
Rock slipped the valet ticket in his pocket. “I wanted you to feel special. You been carrying me for years. Least I can do is give you a night you won’t forget.”
He grabbed her hand, holding it lovingly, his thumb twisting hearts over her skin, making the ice around her heart start to melt.
Inside, a hostess led them to a table near the edge of the roof. The skyline reflected in Shakeisha’s eyes. Rock watched her, while the waiter poured wine neither of them touched right away.
“This is different,” she admitted, crossing one leg over the other. “You trying to prove something?”
“I am,” Rock leaned forward, forearms braced on the table. “That I’m not the same nigga you had to piece together. I’m not the boy who let you cry alone while I ran the streets. I’m the man who knows what he got now.”
Her gaze softened but she didn’t let him off easy. “Words sound good, but they don’t keep me warm when you don’t show up.”
“That’s why I’m showing up now.” Rock nodded toward her plate as the food arrived, plated beautifully. He ordered for themboth. “And tomorrow. And the day after. I’m done being a dream of who I should’ve been.”
Shakeisha couldn’t do anything but smile. She blushed so hard that her deep brown blush turned crimson.
“Did I tell you you look good as fuck?” Rock finally sipped his wine. His face scrunched and they cackled gaining some disgruntled looks from their neighbors.
She slapped her hand over her mouth, gaining her composure before talking. “You did tell me I was fine as hell but you can keep telling me.” She reached for her glass of wine. Tilting it to her lips, her face balled up too. “Eww.”
“I tried to warn you,” Rock held his stomach. He didn’t care about laughing loud. He was paying his money just like the next person.
He had decorum. He knew how to act when times called for it. But when did laughing turn into something people frowned at? Rock thought it was just another way the world clipped the joy off young Black people, like even happiness had to come with rules.
He wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. He just wanted to live. To feel what it meant to really laugh without checking if somebody thought it was too loud. He wanted to show his gap. He wanted to let the sound roll out of him so they knew he was free in that moment.
For twenty-three years he’d been carrying anger—tight in his chest, heavy in his hands. Now he was starting to feel what pure joy felt like. That was new. He didn’t want to keep it to himself. He wanted to wear it proud, to let it be seen, to let her be seen too.
They ate, laughter spilling out as he cracked jokes about Mae Lou teaching Rodeisha how to eat greens the “right way.” Shakeisha rolled her eyes but her smile didn’t fade. They had a good time, even had dessert. Shakeisha felt beautiful and soft.
