Page 263 of Falling Backwards
So I murmur, “Yeah?”
She sighs, but the sound isn’t totally heavy.“I think there’s a fine line somewhere in there.Somewhere between listening to others and listening to ourselves.And I think it’s easy to cross.’Cause, yeah, we should listen to ourselves when it comes to how uncomfortable we are so we know when to make changes, but…but what about the times when we’re too critical?What about when we need other people to pull us out of our head and give us a new perspective?”
I swear I can hear Joy adding in spirit,‘That’s right.There has to be some balance.’
It brings my smile back.
Emma continues.“We shouldn’t base how we see ourselves solely on what other people think, good or bad, and we shouldn’t base it solely on our own opinion because if that opinion is cruel, the pain is coming from us.The call is coming from inside the house, right?We need someone to come to our rescue.”
I have to nod and agree, “To quiet our worry.”
“Yeah.”
I think about how right that feels.Yes, we should all listen to ourselves and do what we think is best for all aspects of our health, but there will inevitably be times when we don’t quite get it right or we’re too hard on ourselves or we’re focused on the wrong things.And…that’s okay.That’s human.
Really, it’s true for all aspects oflife,isn’t it?
“Thank you,” I tell her softly.“You’re right and—and I wish I had talked to you and Joy sooner.”I hesitate before admitting, “Luke has known for a long time.”
She chuckles, not seeming offended in the slightest.“I’m glad he’s good to you about it, sister.”
I only have time to smile shyly before she sucks in a breath and keeps talking.
“I’mdamnglad he’s good to you abouteverything.That he respects you.That he did his part to make things right between the two of you, that he forgives you.I’m glad he makes you smile.I’m glad he came outside the other night and looked me and Joy in our faces and apologized to us in full, too, and assured us that we can trust him with you, and that he forgives the part we played too.I’m glad he protects you.I’m glad he brings color to your life.”
The honesty gripping her tone waters my eyes.
“Joy, too,” she adds.She doesn’t appear to be near tears herself, but she definitely sniffles.“We’re happy for you and we love you and we think you’re beautiful and wonderful.”
Since I can’t hug her again, I settle for reaching over and squeezing the hand she has dangling off the compartment between us.She squeezes back as I say in a slight wobble, “Thank you forever.I loveyouand her and thinkyou’rebeautiful and wonderful.You’re a treasure.You have such a warm heart, Em.”
She flicks me a closed-lips smile as if she doesn’t like that last part, but I know the truth, and not just because I do glimpse a glisten in her eyes.
“Don’t go telling people that,” she says.
I promise her, “I won’t.Your reputation is safe with me.”
Thinking back to the mall, I feel whirling relief again that Kyle left me alone of his own accord.If he hadn’t, I don’t know what Emma might’ve said—or done, honestly.
But I do know…actuallyknow,not hope…that the feeling I’ve had about him lately is real.
He won’t be bothering me anymore.
For once, I look forward to the update I need to make to my incident log.It’ll be the last.
—
“Hell yes!”Luke pulls me into a hug.“Damn it, I’m happy!”
I hug him back, smiling even as I say, “Yeah, so am I, but you can’t cuss where guests can hear you.”
“I’m not!We’re in the breakroom.”
“Shouts carry!”
He slips our hug to an end and gives me a look.“I didn’t shout.I exclaimed.”A second later, he’s grinning.“Come on, now, don’t you and your rules ruin my excitement about Kyle officially fucking off, Ms.Goody-Two—”
A throat gets cleared from the doorway.“Hope being in La-La Land with your boyfriend won’t stop you from clocking in right on time, Maggie.There’s no excusing being late.People may think that you’re a nice little employee, but you don’t warrant special treatment.”
