Page 78 of Falling Backwards
That last one puts a heavy feeling in me.
Of all the things I should apologize for….
But we aren’t looking back to those days.We aren’t bringing up our mistakes.Our plan is to deal with Kyle, not each other.
To help the guilt go away, I think instead about what I can actively do to show my thanks to Luke.Voicing them is a good first step, but let’s be honest: he’s helping me out quite a lot here, and a real gift would probably be appreciated.
Maybe I should try to pay him.
Or see how much it would cost to buy a bulk amount of gummy worms.
—
“Thank you so much for spending your evening with us,” I tell the last two guests of the night, smiling and holding the door for them.“We can’t wait to see you again.Travel safely.”
“Thank you!”and, “Have a good night!”leave them along with their own smiles.They head out into the soft glow of the lights strung up on Lucent’s front.
I close the door and lock up quickly.Normally, I love that this entrance is formed from romantic-looking glass and wood, but things being as they are, I don’t feel great about standing in view of the shadow-cloaked world outside.If Kyle happened to appear on the other side of the glass right now, I’d probably scream.
There isn’t any work for me to do once I’m back in the building proper; all my tasks have been taken care of.I’m just waiting for Luke to be ready.So I take a deep breath and go to the bar.
“Need any help?”I ask him lightly.
He pauses hand-drying a glass and looks up at me with more than a little surprise.
Yeah, I’ve never offered to assist with bartender duties before.
“Oh.Uh….”He glances at the other freshly washed glasses sitting nearby, then bends halfway out of sight.He comes back up with a clean towel.“Sure.Drying these is the last thing I gotta do.”
Judging by how he holds the towel out, I’m allowed to stand where he’s standing.I hurry over, not wanting to delay him—and, frankly, feeling kind of excited.I’ve never been behind the bar before.Even when I brought him that ibuprofen, I stood at the end of it and let him come to me.
After I’ve met him and taken the towel, I can’t help saying, “Wow.”My eyes soak up bar shelves, tools, other glasses, bottles, and everything else I either haven’t seen before or have only seen from some kind of distance.“You know what to do with all this stuff?”
“Sure do,” he says, and I swear there’s a hint of a smile in his tone.
I peek at him to see if it’s really there and find it is.A small smile that’s equal parts amused by me and confident in his work.
Once upon a time, I loved Luke’s smile.
Seeing it brought on by something I’ve said doesn’t quite put butterflies in my stomach like it did back then, but it does have my cheeks feeling warm.
I rush to point out the first shiny tool I don’t recognize.“What’s that?”
He looks.“That’s a hell of a citrus peeler.”
I raise my eyebrows.Yes, it’s very fancy, not like the vegetable peeler I have at home.I point at something else.“And that?”
“That’s a muddler.It’s—”
“Like for the mint in mojitos?”A beat after I’ve asked, I wince.“I didn’t mean to cut you off.Sorry.”
“Nah, it’s fine.I was about to say the same thing.I know how much you like mojitos, so I thought they’d be a good example.”
Somehow, it’s far less unnerving for Luke to know my favorite drink than it is for Kyle to know literally anything about me.
As I watch him set down the glass in his hand, it occurs to me that Ihaveended up delaying his task getting completed.
“Sorry,” I repeat, reaching for a glass of my own.“Got distracted.”
