Page 61 of Falling Backwards
Like, to the point that I was prepared for Kyle to show up at our table, or send her a drink, or step into her path again when she went to the bathroom with her friends.The tension in me silently dared him to make just one more move towards her.
I don’t understand how I can be unsure of how to talk normally to her and at the same time be ready to defend her.
He didn’t bother her again, though.He also didn’t leave until shortly before we all did—he sat back there at his little booth, nursed his own drink, and observed our group in what I guess he thought was a stealthy way.
I’d told Maggie she could relax, and in some ways, she did.She laughed with her friends and enjoyed the birthday situation.She shared pretzel bites with me because no one else wanted to order those, and she even let me dip into the mustard; I didn’t think it’d be good, but it was.She answered when I got the idea to ask what song she listened to most recently (“July” by Betcha, with which I’m unfamiliar).In turn, she asked what TV show I watched last, and she seemed genuinely interested inThe Good Place.
But overall, I could tell she wasn’t truly at ease.
How could she be?She got cornered into spending time with a guy she doesn’t like in order to keep one she’s afraid of at bay.
Really makes me mad that he kept hanging around.I mean, this is a free country and he was a paying customer, but still.He was the reason Maggie felt unsettled, and she didn’t deserve that.
Logically, I know Joy is right about the safe approach to problems like this.The stuff she read online is solid.But man, have my insides agreed with Emma.I snuck a look at the guy once when she said he wasn’t paying attention, and the first thing I thought was,‘Oh, yeah, I can handle him if I have to.’
I’m still thinking it, honestly.Nevermind that Paxton and I have shared a car with the girls and now seen them all the way to the door to their apartment.Nevermind that Kyle has been nowhere in sight since he left the bar and that Maggie is finally taking deep breaths.
While the others talk amongst themselves, she looks at the hallway wall I’m standing against, and I look at her.
“Thank you again,” she says.“I…I know this wasn’t the way you thought your night would go when you and Paxton made your bar plan.”
I wish she’d put her full attention on me.Every time she did over these hours, I felt….
After I’ve pushed that odd desire away, I say, “It wasn’t, but as long as you feel okay now, that’s what’s important.”
She nods, folding her bottom lip into her mouth.
She did that the other day at the hostess stand, I remember.Didn’t meet my eyes then either, because that was after she was nice to me and she’d been avoiding eye contact for—
“I’m sorry.”Now her gaze lowers to the floor.“For imposing on you, I mean.But it did help me, so…I owe you one.”
A peculiar feeling wisps through me.
The bitterness in me want to file her offer away and call on it the next time she gripes at me at work for next to no reason.‘Remember that time I got you out of a jam?You said you owe me a favor, and I’m cashing in.Do me a favor and quit bossing me around.’
But not all of me is bitter.
What leaves my mouth is, “No, you don’t owe me.”
Her eyes finally move to mine, hopeful and grateful and shy.
They instantly wreak havoc on me, between my few earlier drinks and the weight of the night and, honestly, everything else to do with her—she’s so pretty and she’s okay because of me and she hasn’t argued with me since the straw thing….
I can’t hold back a new rush of words.
“If anything, we’re even ’cause you stopped Ronald from writing me up at work last weekend.I never thanked you for that, but I should have.I’m sorry I jumped on your ass instead of thanking you.”
She blinks once, twice, before those eyes go wide with surprise.
My contrition sits on the air between us, unnoticed by our laughing and chattering friends.
Hell, I’ve surprisedmyself.However, I feel good about bringing this up.As stubborn as I’ve been, it’s no secret that she did me a kindness that day.
So, nodding more than I have to, I tell her outright, “Thank you.”
She’s motionless at first.Then she nods, too, looking like she doesn’t know what to say.
I get it.
