Page 50 of Falling Backwards
I don’t know how to say that, though.I don’t know how respond at all because I can’t wrap my mind around what I appear to be in the middle of.
I mean, seriously, what’s going on?Am I losing my marbles or is he really acting like some kind of—of—?
“Hey,” he says, holding up his hands, “I hope I’m not coming across the wrong way.I just wanna get to know you.You seem so sweet and I think we’d have a good time together.I’d love for us to have a drink.Or dinner sometime, like I said last night.”
That unnerving sense of being exposed around him is settling on me like it did the other day at my job.It leaves me feeling hot and cold at the same time.
I cross my arms as I look at him, unsure of what to say to get myself out of this.
Do I have to say anything?Should I just walk away again?
But he might follow me, and then what would I do?He’s slightly bigger than I am.But does that matter?I’m around other people, and maybe he reallyisan okay guy and is simply going about this all wrong.But what if that’s not true?Or what if it is true and I freak out and cause a scene for no reason?I don’t want to do that.
All I know is I don’t like how he makes me feel, especially after last night.
Would a nice guy really approach a girl who’s alone in a dark parking lot like that?Would he really keep showing up where I am like this?
Ihateit when his hand moves onto one of my arms again before I can react—he’s already gotten a quick squeeze in before I figure out how to move away.
“Don’t touch me,” I say in a weaker voice than I want to.
He laughs again and rubs at his face.“Ah, shit.Can we…uh…okay, can we go back in time so I can redo this from the start?”Now he holds out a hand.“Hi, I’m Kyle.I’ve thought for a while that you’re super interesting and pretty, and I’d love to go out with you sometime.”
“No.”
He blinks.
I try my damnedest not to let my stare waver from his, because I am so serious about this word I’ve finally let out.
Momentarily, his extended hand drops away…as does whatever this mood of his is.
“No?”he asks.
I shake my head.
He goes on staring at me, too, before his eyes lower to study the rest of me, his jaw working.
I don’t know if the feeling it leaves me with is rooted in truth or just more anxiety, but either way, I worry my answer isn’t one he’s prepared to accept.
More deliberately, he asks, “You won’t give me a chance?Why not?”
The lie hits my brain and falls straight out of my mouth: “I have a boyfriend.”
It hangs between us as he looks me in the eyes again.
In a way, I’m mad about being made to feel like I have to say something like that to get rid of him.In another way, I’m proud of myself for coming up with such an excuse.It should make him leave me alone, right?He wouldn’t want to potentially upset a guy I’m with, would he?
Except he’s frowning deeply, and displeasure isn’t the only thing I can read in his expression.
The skepticism is in his tone, too, when he states, “You have a boyfriend.”
Skepticism.Doubt.As if he….
It slams into me that if he really has been watching me lately, he might not be fooled by my lie after all.And if I have a boyfriend, why didn’t I say that last night?
Oh…God.
God, what do I do?
