Page 144 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
But I might not have been found in time.
“The New York police had given the Vancouver police my picture and some of my clothes.” I bit my lower lip. “Officer Jones apparently said it was my picture and scent that drove him to look for me in the first place.”
Tenzin frowned. “He’s an alpha?”
“Beta.” I shook my head. “When he found me, his boss wouldn’t give him officers to raid the lake house. He tried to rescue me himself with the help of his off-duty roommate, an ex-military friend, and his friend’s retired scent dog. When Officer Jones found me tied up, I thought I was free and…”
My eyes squeezed shut as the memories bombarded me. “I was sick and weak. My leg was broken, because I kept trying to escape. I was terrified. Being made an omega against my will then force bonded to a delusional alpha was the thing my nightmares were made of.
Then Officer Jones came and…”
“You don’t have to go on,” Tenzin whispered, tenderly stroking my hair, trying to reassure me.
“Lucius came back before he could get me out.” I looked away as the memories continued to assault me.
Clark squeezed my hand. I squeezed it back.
“There was a gun-fight. I got shot in the crossfire, but not badly. Lucius also gave me a bloody face for trying to run. Officer Jones shot the guard, but Lucius shot Officer Jones. Not wanting to be a captive any longer, I got Officer Jones’ gun and shot Lucius,” I sobbed.
“I murdered Lucius. The prime ministers’ son. The man who’d been obsessed with me for years. I… I killed him.”
In that moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. He could have shot me next or taken me somewhere else. There, he would have injected me with the new drugs and bit and bonded me before anyone even knew we’d moved. I’d have been his permanently. Sure, bonds could be reversed with drugs, but it was a difficult legal process.
While I hadn’t expected shooting him to be cathartic, I hadn’t anticipated feeling so guilty about it. Or to be made to feel bad about it.
Or have people think that I was a murderer.
“It’s self-defense, not murder. He kidnapped you,” Tenzin soothed.
“Only because I refused him and he felt he had no other choice. Officer Jones was still alive, though barely. I used his phone to call emergency and held him in my arms. While I did what I could, it wasn’t enough and I watched the life drain out of his eyes, his face. It wasawful.He died trying to save me,” I cried. “He died because he considered me worth saving. My own family took their time, but a stranger literally defied orders for me.”
For several moments I cried, hard, into Tenzin’s bare chest as he and Clark murmured sweet things to me. That kind stranger who gave his life for me.
“You’re worth saving,” Clark whispered. A low rumble filled the room, making me vibrate, and filling me with comfort.
I nuzzled Clark, taking the reassurance his purr offered me, until I’d calmed down enough to finish the story.
Sometimes I wondered if I had any worth at all.
“The dog found me first. He and his owner had been taking care of the other guards. They’d also run into a group of people Lenny and Matty gathered to find me.” The words barely came out through the tears. I rarely talked about Officer Jones. It hurt to do so. He’d had this wonderful life–and helpingmetook it away from him.
“He was gone.” Clark’s eyes filled with compassion.
“And with him, some of me,” I admitted. This was the hardest part to talk about, especially since not everyone believed me.
Because I was a beta.
“When he touched me, I felt something. When his eyes met mine and he said,I knew I’d find you. You’re safe now,there was a connection. When he died, it ripped something away. Broke me.” It was hard to say, but true.
The wolf knew. In many ways, I was a widow.
“What happened to you is traumatic and awful, but you’re not broken.” Clark frowned as he snuggled me. “You need to stop saying that.”
“It’s called a dead-match. One of the many theories why scent matches are so rare is that not everyone’s match manifests. There are plenty of betas with the potential to be alphas and omegas that stay betas. Like me. Basically, if I’d been an omega, and he’d been an alpha, we would have been soulmates. Him appearing there in the lake house took my breath away and notonly because I thought I was free.” The sobs came harder. “It was that latent connection that drove him to find me.”
That hurt me so much more than killing Lucius.
“Dead-match. I… I’ve never heard of it,” Clark replied, still holding me tight. “Makes sense. I’m so sorry you went through that.”
