Page 88 of Cooking Up a Christmas Storm
‘Why are you making jokes?’
‘To hide how scared I am.’
‘Of what?’
Almost every instinct was to make another joke, or to grab her clothes and run the hell away. Jodie fought to keep hold of the other instinct. ‘I’m scared of how right this feels.’ That wasn’t quite it. ‘How real.’
Pavel bit his lip. That was exactly it. That was exactly what had held him back in the ballroom. There was a feeling with Gemma Bryant that something wasn’t quite right, something was being held back. And now nothing was. She was naked in front of him, in every possible sense. He took a deep breath in. ‘Me too,’ he whispered.
‘I want this though. I do.’
‘Me too,’ he whispered again.
Afterwards, after the passion and the heat and the feeling of her all around him had passed, he pulled more rugs and blankets from the grotto and wrapped her snug and close to him.
‘That was…’ He didn’t have the words.
‘Yeah.’ She nestled her head into his shoulder. ‘Were there fireworks going off as we… finished?’
‘In here or out there?’
‘Both. Either?’
‘I think both.’
‘Cool.’
‘I can’t promise the fireworks every time.’
‘So there’s going to be more times?’ she asked, her voice muffled by his chest.
‘I… I hope so.’
‘OK.’
The silence sat between them for a moment. There was something strangely peaceful about being able to feel her against his body but also staring up at the grotto ceiling, talking only into space. It made him feel like he could say the things he usually left inside. ‘I don’t really do things like this,’ Pavel admitted.
‘Have sex in a Christmas grotto? No. Me neither.’ She paused. ‘Actually… well, I don’t do it loads. Hardly ever in summer.’
‘So many questions,’ he replied. ‘I meant I don’t really believe in sparks.’
‘You think we have a spark?’
‘You don’t?’
‘I didn’t say that. But you failed to kiss me twice so we hardly rushed into anything.’
That was true. It wasn’t how it felt to Pavel though. Doing something for no other reason than that he wanted to was a rarity. ‘It felt impulsive to me.’
‘I know your name. Surname and everything. This is practically waiting until marriage for me.’ She buried her head deeper. ‘That doesn’t sound great, does it?’
‘Sounds better than being a total coward.’
‘I don’t believe you’re a coward.’
‘I think I am. I don’t take risks. I don’t grab what I want.’
‘I have fingermarks on my arse that would beg to differ.’
