Page 89 of Cooking Up a Christmas Storm
Pavel laughed. ‘I mean I don’t jump in. It’s scary.’
‘I jump into the wrong things.’
‘Am I a wrong thing?’
She shook her head. ‘No. I’m scared cos I think you might be a very, very right thing.’
And then not looking into her eyes stopped feeling all right at all. He shifted onto his side, cupping her face in his hands. ‘I think this could be everything. Let’s agree not to screw it up.’
That sounded so straightforward. It was a wonderful idea – that you could create something good and pure and precious and then not break it. ‘Screwing things up is sort of my speciality,’ she whispered.
‘But not this,’ he replied. ‘And I never screw up. I’m so sodding reliable. So if you feel like you’re going to screw up, just bring it to Pavel and he’ll fix it?’
‘Really? You’re going to fix me?’
‘I don’t think you need fixing.’
If only he knew. And that was the niggle at the back of Jodie’s head. Pavel Stone was good and kind and honest and reliable and, if she could believe what he said – which by her own logic she must be able to – he was falling in love, right now, right in front of her eyes. With Jodie? With Gemma? With Jodie pretending to be Gemma pretending to be Jodie? It was the tangliest of webs and now she’d tied up someone who deserved a million times better than her. Than any of the versions of her she could ever hope to be.
‘I need to…’ Needed to what? If she told him the truth everything would fall apart. Could you turn a lie into a truth if you told it hard enough? Gemma’s life was going way better than Jodie’s. Gemma had a job, which it turned out Jodie wasn’t awful at. She had friends. She had, if she accepted what she felt and let it happen, an incredible boyfriend. She had everything she knew she didn’t deserve. ‘I need to kiss you again.’
He grinned as he bent his head to hers. His lips were soft and warm and the kiss was more confident and more sure. Jodie let herself relax into it. Everything was going to be…
Bang.
She started at the knock on the door, and pulled the rug over her body as quickly as she could, slightly hampered by Pavel instinctively trying to do the same.
‘Is that door locked?’ he whispered urgently.
Another knock.
‘I don’t think so…’
The door swung open. Jay from Redd Level was silhouetted in the doorway. ‘Right well, not the room I’m looking for then.’ He glanced back at Pavel and caught Jodie’s eye. ‘Nice.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Jodie started.
The door was already swinging closed. ‘Wow. Grottos have really changed since I was a kid. Merry Christmas!’
‘Merry Christmas, Jay from Redd Level!’ Jodie called back.
Pavel dropped Gemma off at the castle gates. ‘Do you want to come in? You can. I mean, everyone will see you and we’ll be the talk of the village before breakfast.’
‘Would that bother you?’ he asked. ‘People knowing.’
Gemma shook her head. ‘Not at all. I want to parade you down the high street shouting “look what I pulled”.’
He laughed. ‘Yeah. Don’t do that. You want to tell people though?’
For a second the bravado she wore like a shield faltered. ‘If you want to…’
‘I want to, but let me go home tonight and tell my mum first. I’ll get hell if she thinks Anna knew before her.’
Gemma nodded. ‘So long as Anna’s not secretly in the Redd Level WhatsApp group I think we’re safe for now.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow though?’ he asked.
‘You’re coming to the lights parade?’
