I think he lied.
But Darius has never lied to me.
I head to that dark patch, as always.
Runa lays down, head on her paws and I lay in between her, resting my back on her belly.
And there we stay, again.
Waiting.
The lilk trees are still as beautiful as the first day I saw them.
I place my hand on one, feeling the power thrumming within, his power.
It greets me, and I take a breath.
That’s getting harder these days.
Breathing.
There is a tightness in my chest that won’t leave me.
Painful thumps of my heart that feel like it would bring me to my knees, and it’s his heart.
Is he hurting?
My hand trails over the tips of the lesia flowers.
They look dainty, yet still stand strong.
They will not wilt, they will not die.
I’m not sure I can be like a lesia flower.
Edward says it's normal to feel this way, that my heart is broken. I overheard him speaking to Kade and Josh about me, but I think he knew I was there and wanted me to hear.
But I’m not heartbroken.
My soul is broken.
I blink sluggishly as I reach the dark ground.
There is no such thing as forever.
I still can’t look at the grass fully.
I can’t look at it and not remember him with the green eyes.
It hurts too much.
So I busy myself with other things.
I visit Belldame at Witches Rest, just to keep her mind at ease and see how far she has come with rebuilding. New homes rest on stilts once again, and they laid to rest their dead, blessing them at Da Bier Dall.
Then I go to see Edward at Fenrikar Castle, briefly. He stays there with the other members of the council, and Vrohkaria is thriving.
And I'm dying.