Page 11 of No Right To Love You
“Are you sorry?” I ask her with my arms folded over my chest. “Why the attitude, baby?”
“There is no attitude. I just don’t believe you when you say you’ll show up.”
“I will, Jaz, I mean that.”
“Mom,” Jasmine says in a small voice and the sad look on her face breaks my resolve. “You weren’t there. You didn’t come and you said you would.”
Jasmine runs off with tears in her eyes and I’m stuck there, realizing that I’ve hurt my kids. All of them as a collective. My heart hurts because I love them, and I wouldn’t want them to feel like I don’t want to be there for them.
“She’s just mad because she got her period.” Jeremy says and I feel like I’ve been slapped.
“What? When?”
“After the game. She kept telling us that her stomach was hurting, and dad took us home instead of celebratory pizza. He told me to watch Zoe as he talked to Jaz then he ran her a bath while he left to her some stuff. I heard him telling her about what periods are and pads, heck I’m wondering what the hell a tampon is and where do you shove it u—.”
“Jer!” I stop him and he chuckles. He’s the goofball of the family. The little skater kid that has a best friend who comes here more than he stays at home. “Finish this up while I go talk to your sister.”
“Okay.”
My heart breaks into a million little pieces as I wipe the tears away that fall down my face for missing such a huge milestone in my daughter’s life.
“Mom?” Jeremy calls my name as I begin to walk away.
“Yeah?” I face him.
“I want you to know I’m not mad at you for working late and missing stuff. I understand. You’re a woman and even though things are better or progressive, it’s not easy to do everything that you’re doing. I’m proud of you.” Jeremy says with a smile.
My feet take me back to Jeremy and I hug him tight, placing a kiss in his hair. “Thank you.” I clear my throat trying not to further cry.
“I love you, mom.”
“I love you, Jer.”
Chapter 9
January
I knockon Jasmine’s door and wait for her to let me in.
“Come in.” she says, and I know my sweet girl is just upset with me, but she doesn’t know what to do with all the emotions and feelings she’s experiencing especially around getting her period.
When I open her door, I see her as she sits on her window seat and looks out as she wears her yoga pants and big sweater that she got from her father’s closet.
Walking over, I sit on her bed and sigh.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry that I wasn't here for your special moment. I should've been. Do you want to talk about it?”
Jasmine holds on tight to her stuffy and continues to look outside but I see the tears in her eyes. She must’ve been so terrified.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” she says in a small voice.
“Okay, we don’t have to. Just let me sit here with you. Can I do that?”
“If you want, it’s your house.” Jasmine shrugs.
“It’s your house too. No one can tell you that you don’t have any right to state that you want to be left alone in your room.”
Jasmine huffs louder and I know that she wants me to say something to her. To talk to her so that she can feel like I'm here for her. So, she knows that I would never let her down.
