Page 79 of Hale's Pawn
“Maybe I just need a second, you know? I’m going to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” Ainslee stands up and stumbles.
We all get up from the table but she puts her hand up. “It’s just me being clumsy guys.” Ainslee chuckles for what seems to be the first time in awhile. She stands straight and she looks at me, “Oran? Why is the room spinning?” I quickly move towards her, catching her right before she hits the floor.
Fuck.
Pregnant.Almost lost the fetus. Fourteen weeks.That’s all that keeps replaying in my head. How many times do we have to be in the damn hospital because this woman of mine doesn’t fucking pay attention to shit? I don’t want to call her reckless.
The plus side is that nothing is wrong with her heart and our fetus is okay. Ainslee just needs to sleep. She fainted because she’s exhausted and every little thing will wipe her out because she’s pregnant. Sitting here, driving us home is the only reason why I’m trying to remain calm. When we get inside the house, I slam the door shut and Ainslee jumps. I say nothing to her as I walk away. I don’t want to lose my shit, but I’m so close.
Ainslee comes into our bedroom a little while after. “We keep doing this all wrong. I feel like it’s all wrong,” she says softly.
I glare up at her from my position sitting on the bed. “No, we aren’t doing anything wrong, YOU ARE! What the fuck, Ainslee? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Do you not understand what the hell just happened?”
“I do understand, okay? Why wouldn’t I understand? I’m not incapable of processing information. I’m not an idiot,” she says.
“I didn’t call you an idiot so don’t put words in my mouth. I’m just saying, you’re so fucking gone in the head these days. Like, I really do understand what’s going on with your dad and how you’re technically in charge, but you need to find a fucking balance. Obviously, you have no idea what that’s all about because you show up late to everything. You don’t even make it to a lot of the shit we want to do. Get your priorities in check! Look what just happened to you!”
Ainslee’s brows furrow. “Don’t yell at me Oran, I am NOT your child. I am your wife!”
“Oh really? Well act like it!” She takes a step back like I slapped her or something. “Don’t be dramatic.” I scowl.
Ainslee laughs but there’s no joy coming out of it. “Fuck you. You may not think I’m balancing shit, but I am. YOU ARE my number one priority and I do everything to make sure no one targets you or does anything to you. Don’t patronize me for doing what I was born to do. I never had a choice and I accept that. Even if I had one, I’d choose to protect you. So, DON’T.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, Ainslee. I need you to be here. I don’t need you to choose between anyone because that would be stupid. Even if you were to try and choose, I want you to know something, the fetus that you are carrying isn’t a fucking Bishops,” I say, standing up. I place my hand on my chest. “It’s a Hale and I’m that baby’s father. Don’t fuck with my child, Ainslee,” I warn. “You put this baby in danger just because you were being ridiculously stupid with the things that you were doing. You put yourself in danger! How do we even see eye to eye with this? You don’t even fucking care!”
Ainslee looks at me like I just called her a monster. She shuts her eyes and when she opens them again, her eyes are blank. There’s no expression left in them. She doesn’t say anything, she walks out, shutting the door behind her. I walk to the door and I want to follow her out but I don't. I just stand there. I hear her steps and I know where she’s going, the pantry. I open the door and follow her there but I don’t go inside. Instead, I sit outside and I shut my eyes, trying not to lose my mind or composure. What breaks me is the second Ainslee starts to sob. My anger is getting the best of me right now and I don’t want to go in there. I want her to understand that she broke the both of us right now. It’s not entirely her fault, but right now I’m just trying to process.
“Hey, Karessa,” I hear her softly speaking, “sorry to bother you this late but can you come pick me up? Don’t tell Jagger why, just tell him I need a drive. I just… I need a friend right now.”
I stand, closing myself off to her because once again, she doesn’t see that crying in front of me or crying to me would be better than hiding. I love my wife but I don’t like her very much right now.
AINSLEE
I stand outside waiting for Karessa in the clothes that I’ve changed into. Karessa pulls up and I get in the car. She takes one look at me. “Sweats?”
I chuckle. “Yeah. It’s one of those times.”
“You okay?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just...Can you drop me off at the hospital?”
“You sure you're okay?” Karessa asks.
“Yeah, I just want to be with my dad, that’s all.”
“Okay, you know you can talk to me, right? And can I say something?” Karessa asks.
I shrug. “Yeah, sure.”
Karessa turns the engine off. She takes my hand in hers. “I’m sorry about what you just went through. I can just imagine the pain that you’re in and I know that you’ve told me about not wanting to fuck up this marriage of yours because you seriously love Oran. I know you do. You and him almost lost something precious. You need to go inside and be with him. Comfort him and let him comfort you.”
“He doesn’t want me here. You should’ve seen how disappointed he looked. I don’t blame him at all. I know I was being reckless and I wasn’t seeing things because I had a one-track mind. You don’t understand how much this hurts, Ressa. I just feel like a complete failure. I was just protecting everyone that I care about.”
“Ainslee… What do you mean by that? Protecting us how?”
“I can’t say it all but you guys need to know that if you take away the Bishops’ protection in Founder’s, then our enemies will come after you guys. It’s too late for me to pretend like I don’t care about you all. I just have to do what I need to do.”
“You can’t possibly deal with all that yourself, Ainslee. That’s a huge burden. You have to be open with us, we can take care of ourselves too. We’re grown as hell.”
