Page 17 of Euphoria
Chapter 7
Phoenix
I dragBambi straight to my bedroom and cuff one arm to my bedpost. She’s too distraught thinking Bowie isn’t coming back. I don’t know what it is with all of us but something connected us. Could’ve been our abandonment issues or us not growing up understanding what genuine love was until we met each other. I sigh. “I’ll be back,” I grit through my teeth.
Before I leave the room, Bambi gets my attention. “You think he’ll come back?”
“Bowie isn’t going anywhere. He’s just getting some space. He’ll be back because leaving you is something he could never do on his own.” I let her know the truth and leave before she asks me more questions.
* * *
When I get backBambi’s passed out without a care in the world.
Staring at her I realize something, my obsession with her has never gone away. My mind drifts to the first time I heard the nickname she gave me.
Sometimes I’d convince Bowie for us to come in late after school for her tutoring sessions. We’d do it so we could watch her fidget in her seat while looking out the window then switching to the door. She did it so many times.
I walk into the classroom with Bowie right behind, except this time he’s not paying attention. Bambi looks at me then Bowie. Her face looks confused and I know she’s trying hard not to make it noticeable that she likes the both of us but what she doesn't realize is that we would never make her choose. She doesn’t take her eyes off Bowie as he goes to sit on the teacher’s desk and props his feet up. He shuts his eyes pretending to not feel her eyes on him but I know him better than her. He wants her just as much as I do and shit, it could be worse. I watch Bambi; she looks so sweet, so delectable to me and I want to corrupt her badly. I pick up my step and I stop when my feet land me right in front of her.
“You gettin’ attached, baby deer?” I taunt her.
Bambi tilts her head, and her halo of hair follows. “Baby deer?” Her sweet, angelic voice asks as she gazes at me like I have all the answers in the world.
“Yeah.” I crouch down, placing my arms on her desk. “You’re like the little baby deer from that Disney movie, Bambi. Your name suits you, but I see the way you look for us when we’re a couple of minutes late for the sessions.” I admit. “You want us.”
Bambi blinks. “Sometimes, neither of you show up for the sessions and I wait.” The way she looks me in the eye, instead of fearing what she sees in mine, makes me so fucking horny.
“We know you do. I watch you wait until it’s late. Too late for you to be at the school. Why? Do you like me or do you like the fucker who’s pretending to sleep right now? Or maybe you want us both?” I ask. Curious as hell because I’ve never really known for an innocent girl like her to like either of us. I am known as the kid with no emotions and they know Bowie as the kid who wears black eyeliner, paints his nails black and looks like he’s a rockstar in the making with his long hair.
Bambi freezes. She says nothing, but it’s written all over her face. “Yes,” she answers.
I didn’t think she had it in her. I tsk, shaking my head. “Oh, baby deer, why would you ever like someone like me? I don’t do relationships or feelings. That’s not me.”
“What about him?” She glances at Bowie.
I turn to see that he’s watching us now. No longer pretending. “What about me? You want me, little lamb? You don’t think I’m gay like everyone else?” Bowie says.
“No,” she braves it as she speaks to hotheaded Bowie. “I see the way you look at women and I’ve heard about how many women you’ve hooked up with here. They talk and I listen.”
Bowie groans. “Fuck. Why do you listen? Why do you want me or that shit over there? Huh? What do we have that you want?”
Bambi shrugs. “Because I see the real you.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “Nobody knows the real me, not even me. Don’t act like you know either of us. Stick to your shit and we’ll do what we do.” I stand, not liking the way she looks at me. “Let’s get started.”
Bambi stands up abruptly. “No!” She attempts at yelling. “You’re lying. For the past weeks, I’ve been watching you both. The way you teach me, the way you look at me and the look that appears in your eyes. It’s real. It’s there. You’re just as broken as I am.” She says, her voice wavering. “Bow…” She calls him a nickname that nobody has ever done besides me. “I may not ask how you get those bruises on your face and body but I fucking know! I know! You want me to make the pain go away. I know you do!” She yells again.
Bowie growls, standing up out of the seat. “Fuck you! You know nothing about me. Stay out of my business and out of my fucking way, Bambi, or you’ll fucking regret it. I promise you that.” He walks out of the classroom, not looking back at her crestfallen expression. She tries to school her disappointment but I’ve already seen it.
I throw my head back, laughing at her intrusive yet insightful words. “We’re all broken us two more than the others, but it doesn’t mean you know a damn thing about us.” I shrug.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I take it back.” I watch as the light in her eyes dim. She sits back down and doesn’t contribute much to our session.
I skip the next couple weeks of sessions with her because there’s just something about the way she speaks to me. Bowie has refused to come to the sessions with me. Bambi doesn’t say it, but she watches the chair that Bowie always sat in. She looks out the window for him and when she hears footsteps outside of the door; she looks so quickly as if he’s going to appear. I know he won’t show up even though he’s watching her from outside, in a space she can’t see. If only she looked up in the tree next to the classroom windows, she’d see him there.
Bambi invades every part of my damn day from the way her brown eyes follow me through my lessons, my days and nights, especially nights. I can’t help it as I pull my dick out of my boxers each night just to relieve myself to her innocent face. Those eyes of hers draw me in each time. So, I do what any idiot eighteen-year-old boy would; I fuck her out of my system by fucking other girls.
My fingers itch because I didn’t watch Bambi this morning when she came to school instead, I made myself scarce. Now, here I am meeting Jessica Barnes in the halls with Bowie. Jessica Barnes is one of the few girls that we’ve shared. She’s down for it. For her, she says that we both give off the same energy and she likes how rough we take her. Today I don’t want to fuck but her sucking me off like she badly wants to will probably take the edge away. When her little brunette ass appears around the corner with Bowie, I grab her by the arm and march us to the janitor’s closet. Bowie doesn’t say shit but follows because we’re two twisted, sick ass individuals. Normally, we’d take her to one of our cars but I need this now. When we get in there, it’s dark and Jessica kisses my neck, putting me in the mood. I hear as Bowie groans behind Jessica, he’s touching her and I feel the pebbles of her nipples against my chest.
