Page 49 of Blinded By The Sun
I look over at Matteo who is standing behind his dad leaning against the wall. He’s always near his dad and never notices it, it’s adorable. “Kid, do you know anybody that I know?” I ask.
He snickers. “No… wait, I’m not supposed to be smiling with you. You betrayed me.” He states.
I cock a brow and sit back in my seat, crossing my arms. “I betrayed you. How so?”
“You made a move on my girl and you knew that I was going for her,” he says.
“Your? Girl?” I enunciate each word just so it’s clear.
“Yeah.”
“Kid, what the hell have you been smoking?” Boston places his hand over his forehead and just shakes his head.
“I haven’t been smoking anything at all. Not like you’d let me, anyway.” Matteo goes on.
I stare at him, not saying anything else. Matteo glares at me and this would be funny if it was anyone else but this is my girl. I’ve noticed that my territorial side comes out full-blown with Kingsley. I hear as Boston and Adriano clear their throats, but I won’t be deterred from this situation. If Matteo thinks he can talk to me like I’m his friend, then let’s have it. Let’s see him prove that he has the balls to do it. Matteo’s face turns slightly red, which means he’s getting embarrassed.
“But seriously, uncle Cir…” He whines. I still don’t talk. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. She’s not my girl. She’s your girl, but couldn’t you have talked to me about it? I just want what’s the-best for her.” He admits.
“And you don’t think I’m the best for her?” I ask.
His eyes go wide. “What! No, no, I think you’re amazing and all that but do you deserve her? I don’t know if you can love her. You didn’t exactly love Tatyana,” he says and Boston makes some noise which means he’s irritated.
I almost crack a smile at Matteo. I like that he’s honest and himself. “Tell me why you think I didn’t love Tatyana.”
“Because, uncle Cir, you let her get with other men. She told me herself before she…” Matteo shuts his lips as if he’s said too much.
Boston spins on his seat so quickly, you’d think he’s been practicing a strip tease. Fucking Magic Boston. “What were you about to say,” Boston asks him.
“Nothing.” he says. He moves away from his father. “I, I have to go pack,” he says and tries to walk away.
“Matteo Rémi Sarkozy, stop right where you are.” I say. I stand and walk over to him. I turn him around to face me. I look him in the eye, “before she what? Talk to me.”
He shakes his head. “No, I can’t do that. You’ll be so mad at me and you’re like a father to me, uncle Cir. I can’t do that to you. I love you too much to break your heart.”
I place my hands on his shoulders. “Talk to me, Teo. It’s okay. There’s nothing in this world that would ever make me mad at you. I love you way too much to do that. Talk to me.”
He takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes. “Tatyana tried to get me to lose my virginity to her. She kissed me one night when I was staying here and that’s why I stopped staying over or if I did, it was only when you were home.”
I don’t know what to say. I am at a loss of words. I just bring Matteo in my arms. There’s nothing I could ever say to erase that shit from his mind, the experience, or even the disgusting way he must’ve felt. The poor kid. The look in his eyes while he just glosses over it, will forever haunt me. I hear a growl so loud; it hasPoutinehowling. I know it’s Boston and I don’t stop hugging Matteo as he holds on tight to me. “I’m so sorry, Matteo. I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”
“It’s okay, uncle Ciro. I should’ve told you, but it scared me shitless and I was a 14-year-old kid so I didn’t realize, well I still don’t realize that you wouldn’t have been upset with me at all.”
“I love you, Teo. With all my heart, kid. Seriously.”
* * *
It took me a bit to let Matteo go so that his father could hold him. I know he’s not mine but Matteo means the world to me and to know that I let a predator in my home that took advantage of him, breaks my fucking heart. I couldn’t stay in the kitchen with everyone because my brain hurt, every part of me was angry and I wanted to break something.
That is how I find myself in my workout room with boxing gloves and boxing shorts on. I can’t think straight as I punch the sandbag. I can’t believe I let that woman in my home and the fact that I had the nerve to love her. To let her hurt my nephew, the son I never had like that. It pains me. It pains me he felt like I’d choose anyone else over him. What kind of web of lies did she spin for him to believe that? I don’t stop as I keep on punching because this is the only way I could hurt something. I can’t physically bring thatcochonback to life to kill her again, so I have to let my rage out like this. I can’t lose it in front of Matteo. I don’t want this to hinder him from his life.
“Baby…” King calls my name softly. I hear her from behind me. “Baby? Can we talk?” She asks me.
I shake my head, trying to understand and process what is going on. I growl because I’m not able to do this. “Get out. I don’t want to talk right now. I can’t talk right now.”
“Do you want to fuck me then? Get your anger out that way?” She asks.
Something about those words trigger me. Trigger the other side of me that not even she’s seen yet. I stop punching the bag. I snatch the first glove off and turn to face her, removing the other one. I march up to her grabbing her by the throat. “Did I ask to be fucked? Are you trying to manipulate me that way? What is it with the women I choose? Do I just choose the wrong ones and they fuck me over royally? Am I blind as fuck or something? How can I be so damned hopeless? What the hell!” I yell and let go of her.
