Page 50 of Blinded By The Sun
King blinks and clutches her throat. I didn’t hurt her, but I could’ve. “I’m not like that. I’m not like her.”
“If you ever think of hurting Matteo, I will torture you. I won’t just kill you like I did Tatyana; I will murder you in cold blood, do you understand?”
King tries to blink back tears. “How could you think I’d…” She pauses and looks down to the floor as if she can’t bear to look at me. She clears her throat and peers at me. “I love Matteo. He’s like the little brother I’ve never had. He accepts me as a person and not as a whore. He gave me the chance to laugh and be happy. How could I hurt such a kind soul like him? He’s so smart and well beyond his age. He protects me whenever we’re at the shoots. From the creeps that try to talk to me, and he never lets me go anywhere. He cares about me enough to challenge someone of your caliber to make sure you’re good to me, but he’s right.”
“What?”
“You’re not good to me.” she says. “If you were good to me, you’d never ask me that or threaten me like that, especially with Matteo. I wouldn’t hurt him even if I was being forced to. I’d rather die than hurt him. I may not know how it feels to have children, but if I had them, I’d want them to be like Matteo. All of them.” She whispers. “I don’t think I should go on the trip anymore. Maybe I should go back to my uncle’s so that way you can believe that I’d never hurt him. I’d do it. For Teo.” King turns to leave, and I grab her by her ponytail.
She moans, and I pull her to me. Her back against my sweaty front. “Don’t ever fucking walk away from me if I haven’t dismissed you.”
“But you did,” she says.
“When?”
“When you accused me of being a predator. I know predators, I was around a lot of them and that’s not me. I would never let Teo feel how I did being around them and not knowing if someone will come in and rape me,” she confesses.
I yank her ponytail and tug her head back so she can look up at me. I stare into her eyes. “I’m fucking sorry.”
King is shocked by my words. “Huh?”
“I apologize for implying that you’d hurt Matteo. I was spiraling and you don’t deserve that.Je t’en prie, chouchou.Ne te fâche pas contre moi,baby.” I lean down closer to her and I kiss her heavily not caring that her neck is probably straining as much as mine is too.
Once I stop kissing her and let her go. I turn her to face me and she pouts. “I’m still mad,” she says.
“Je sais, chouchou, je saisbut I really am sorry. That was taking it a bit too far, even for me. I just, I love that kid and to know that it’s because of me he got preyed on, it breaks my fucking heart.”
“Baby…” King whispers. She hugs me, not caring that the sweat could rub off on her. “Do you know why I love you?”
I smile at that as I hug her back. “Why? Tell me.”
“Because you care so much that it exudes off your body. You cared enough to give me your suit jacket when I left with you. You cared enough to believe me when Tatyana said I stole something from you, even though that would’ve been impossible. You cared or rather care enough to accept my love without shying away or throwing me out. You care so much about your family that no matter what, you choose them. Do you know how much I would’ve wanted someone, anyone that is related to me, to choose me? No one has ever defended me before you. No one has ever wanted to make me smile, hug or even kiss me. You are a caregiver and it’s in your nature to be that way. So, I understand why you feel like it’s your fault with Teo. You care enough to say that it’s your fault, but it’s not. A predator is a predator, no matter what. You didn’t allow Tatyana to do that to Teo, It’s not your fault and if you don’t trust my words, Trust Matteo’s. He loved you so much he thought to protect you from the truth, but what he didn’t realize was that you love him so much that you would’ve chosen him over Tatyana. I love you for that. Boston loves you. Adriano loves you and Matteo loves you. He will forever love his uncle, who is like his father.”
I’m speechless at her words. If I could have changed things and waited to meet her without marrying Tatyana, I would’ve. So that way, I could love her like I want to. Give her something pure, something precious and beautiful, but I’m tainted; I’m scarred, confused and broken… How can I give her what I don’t know how to give?
